Matthew Garrett

@mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip

1216

Posts

Former biologist. Actual PhD in genetics. Security at https://aurora.tech, OS security teaching at https://www.ischool.berkeley.edu.
Blog: https://mjg59.dreamwidth.org
Signal: @mjg.59
He/him

Posts Replies Media

Me that one night at emfcamp

2026: 30 years of hurt 3 lions fucks still streaming

We're hearing that Rishi Sunak is currently in a white Ford Bronco circling the M25, avoiding resignation

Ok look tonight does not leave me feeling positive about the future but Rees Mogg losing is objectively fucking hilarious

Hi welcome to Summer Games Done Quick, tonight we're going for Labour majority any %

Attempting to explain UK election results to my spouse and realising that I'm going to need to start in the 17th century

Bwahahahahaha

Thinking about how much absolute damage the Cheeky Nando's meme did to British culture

My "Julian Assange is a criminal" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt, and boy is it helping me figure out who to avoid talking to ever again

Considering doing @edjeff.bsky.social's edjefferson.com/winning-the-... but taking the actual lottery numbers for each week and re-ordering his posts to (a) maximise payout and (b) define the canonically correct order to watch every Nicolas Cage film as a result

Winning The Lottery With Nicolas Cageedjefferson.com I spent 2016 engaging in one of the most powerful tests of character that any human can experience: attempting to watch every Nicolas Cage film, in order, because I believed that it would have some...

Because I clearly hate myself, I wrote a thread elsewhere about various common misconceptions about the Assange cases: nondeterministic.computer/@mjg59/11267...

Matthew Garrett (@[email protected])nondeterministic.computer Quick Assange frequent misconceptions thread: 1) "Assange was merely wanted for questioning" - no, Swedish judicial process required that he be interrogated before charges could be made. Sweden arrest...

If it's our patriotic duty not to disclose vulnerabilities that an allied government wants to use, it's presumably also our patriotic duty to ensure that vulnerabilities exist in the first place. Therefore, Rust is unpatriotic.

"It's inappropriate to burn exploits that are being used by western governments" is *way* too close to "It's legitimate to introduce deliberate vulnerabilities for the use of western governments" for me to take anyone arguing it seriously

I keep trying to do entirely normal things like obtain phone service and I keep hitting entirely bizarre obstacles and I still do not understand whether I am unusually unlucky or whether this happens to everyone and we just never talk about how opaquely broken *everything* is

Fucking screaming

Cops:fentanyl :: Elon:OpenAI

I wrote about how you can just use the SSH agent protocol to forward whatever the fuck you want from a remote system: mjg59.dreamwidth.org/69646.html

Who wins, Cliff Wife or Flag Wife

Got home and this is in the fridge?

Capital city of a prosperous EU nation and there's still a station where an auld fella has to come out and close the gates whenever there's a train coming

Labour: *through sobs* you can't just say everything is taxed.... Please.... Sunak: *points at seagull flying past* taxed

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Matthew Garrett

To end this tired debate once and for all: the G in "GIF" is pronounced as in "gnome"

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Matthew Garrett

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS TRUMPS CONVICTION AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ALVIN BRAGG. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I CROSS EXAMINE SOME LYING WITNESS BASTARDS

every day I wake up, greet the morning sun, and say to myself, "donald trump was convicted on 34 felony counts"

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Matthew Garrett

Happy Pride to you Bluesky 🏳️‍🌈

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Matthew Garrett

To be clear, when we said "leave your unwanted junk in the swap shop" we did not mean radioactive material #emfcamp

I'm at a festival and someone brought nuclear sources

I'm with my people

I'll be giving my @emfcamp.bsky.social talk on the XZ backdoor in just under 2 hours (16:40 UK, 17:40 Western Europe, 11:40 Eastern, 8:40 Pacific), and it should be live-streamed at streaming.media.ccc.de/emf2024/stagea

Stage A – Electromagnetic Field 2024 Streamingstreaming.media.ccc.de Live streaming from Electromagnetic Field 2024

It's somewhat astonishing how invested you all are in my pre-packaged culinary choices

Update: bought a scotch egg