darthazius

@darthazius.bsky.social

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Here because I broke up with my X.

Resident of the Milky Way ghetto, occasional pianist, timid venturer, rebellious millennial. A little bit whelpexis. 🏳️‍🌈 Disclaimer: profile is not reflective of actual life.

Socials: https://linktr.ee/darthazius

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I've just had the horrible realization that I haven't touched my PS5 in 3 weeks. How has my life come to this

Have I used this exact pose before? Yes. Will I use it again? Also yes. Will I fight tooth & nail for right to unashamedly use this pose repeatedly because it's one of the few poses that I manage to look good in? Yes indeed.

Did NASA ask their consent first or-

It's a long weekend in Malaysia and all my frushes are either busy or out of town so I guess I'll just die

Update: the club didn't have a beginner class so I was thrown into the deep end with zero basics to learn a complicated technique, but I managed to survive and had a blast and even if this is the only class I ever attend, yes, I will never stop talking about it

My first jiu jitsu class is later today. Y'all better hope it goes badly and I never try again otherwise I'll turn into one of those people who never stops talking about it

Just answered a call from an unknown number. That's enough courage and social interaction for the week, I think

My first jiu jitsu class is later today. Y'all better hope it goes badly and I never try again otherwise I'll turn into one of those people who never stops talking about it

Swiping left on all of Tinder's suggested Top Picks to establish dominance

How does my beard retain so much water after I shower AND dry myself, what sorcery is this

Someone at the gym has been arranging the apparatus to resemble a dick & balls and I'm deeply angry that I didn't think of that before him. He has the ✨vision✨

Pride Month is over. Kindly return your queerness to the library, you can re-issue it next June. Thank you.

I said "Thanks, queen" to my phone assistant and it didn't like it lol

Got my salary, what nonsense am I buying

Powers restored? No. HUMILITY DISCARDED.

Awkward moment you're sweating at the gym when the Challengers soundtrack plays on shuffle and now you must make eye contact with someone you have sexual tension with

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK #TheAcolyte

The map: Merge into highway My brain: lol headless stick figure

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darthazius

That’s that me, Nosferatu

There are now more work groups on my WhatsApp than active friend conversations so imma report this to our IT guys as a security risk or something

The "You may have forgotten to attach a file" alert in Outlook has saved me an embarrassing amount of times and it's the only useful pop-up I have ever encountered in my life

You know how to stop a cat from making any noise? You mewt it

Dipped into Twitter again because the Sutekh memes are BANGIN' #DoctorWho

Now hiring: someone to remove all the raisins from my muesli

This man. His mind 🤩

Fellowship of the Rings but it's a vintage psychedelic sci-fi flick...and Galadriel does acid

When you collapse during your final set but your gym crush walks in at the same time so you gotta play it slay

Yes but are they interested in ME

And deeply effective. I'm now an Affinity user. Well played, Affinity. This is bad news for everyone, since I primarily used Photoshop to make terrible puns. Now I may return to that.

Niche skeet but Affinity slashing 50% off its suite of apps in the wake of Adobe's Terms of Service episode is deeply funny to me

[grumbling noises]

Delighted to announce that episodes of The Acolyte drop at my 9 am local time, which means I am at work & unable to watch, which means I need to quit my job

What in the world-?