Berks of Delights

@dandyandafop.bsky.social

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Creative and cute. Not my words, Carol. The words of an Etsy marketing email.

Design, Illustration, Gardens, Furniture, not AI. Ever. English in New England.

Let's get tonight's horror show on the road...

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“I’ve got 99 problems…”

Day 6700 of Mother saying "it's just the bitter north easterly wind..." I refuse to believe the wind ALWAYS blows from the north east. I was stuck in that ruddy town for 30 odd years and while it WAS always windy, the wind did at least change direction occasionally.

Fuckittt. I'll go ahead and shut down my OnlyFans then. I was only $599,000 short, too...

*thinks about it, and decides not to contribute ‘Junior Dick Start’ to that children’s TV Show thread*

I would dearly love to be spending time in the garden, trying to tidy it up…but the heat is STILL FUCKING UNBEARABLE…and it is still HUMID AS FUCK.

A new pre-order. I wonder what it....oh. I believe this is what they call 'spectacular timing'

I feel for every poor sod trying to write about TV these days. "2000 words on why you weren't expecting something and how it gave you all the feels from that show last night" "But it was heavily telegraphed / foreshadowed and quite perfunctory, I didn't have all the fee...." "FEELS. ALL OF THEM!"

Get tae fook…

*staring* "But it looks like one tit has slipped out, and yet underneath there is a bikini top. Do they have three tits? Four tits? Is this not even what I think it is...?" "Don't you have important work to do?" "That can wait. I need to solve this mystery first...."

For those following the Rees Mogg / tea towel purchase story. The auction was due to end last night. I sat down on the deck, got my phone out to stick a bid in, eased the chair back and... instantly fell asleep. It DIDN'T sell, but they haven't relisted yet. Never give me important things to do.

Bad Photoshopping That Lives Rent Free in Your Head, GO!

Got my Sexy Keith Richards costume nice and early for Halloween....

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Berks of Delights

Fantastic paintings of motorway bridges by jenorpinpaintings.co.uk via the Meanwhile newsletter

Just in case you’re not aware, and don’t have the same exclusive ‘400 emails a day until the sun explodes and destroys the Earth’ subscription… Levi’s are having an end of season sale. Best check and see how many more emails I got about it while typing this post about it.

*cut to Pigbin Josh cautiously approaching*

On Friday after TOTP, I turned the TV off - but forgot to turn the amp off. So BBC4 continued to play on while I pottered about taking photos of furniture. I have had ‘Islands in the Stream’ stuck in my head for 4 days. Not the good one. The nasally peg-on-nose St Winifred’s School Choir Kylie one.

Momentary excitement as I spot a Lane Acclaim table. Then can’t remember that table, and can’t work out why the legs are so stumpy. It’s a console table with the legs sawn off to make a coffee table. *pinches bridge of nose*

No thanks. It was shit. That’s why I STOPPED watching.

Christ almighty. Necks don’t work like that. But sure.

For when you simply can't be fucked to pull your chair in closer.

Mother is on the phone. “Saka worked his bloody tits off”

England get a semi. I’m struggling to be honest.

We get to enjoy England’s samba style football again… Lucky us.

Good lad. That smile.

That’s how I take penalties.

I actually don’t care. I simply want this game to end. This porridge-like, lumpy confection of sludge.

Christ. I’ve hated 98% of this tournament. Apart from Georgia. There should be a tournament every 4 years where Georgia just run around at 80mph constantly lashing it at goal.

Pickford’s Parry sounds like an ITV sitcom that got 6 episodes and never found a regular spot in all the various regions.

Always amazed that Shaqiri can fall over given his centre of gravity is one inch from the floor.

I’m so bored I’m deleting the 400 emails I’ve had from Michael’s since this match kicked off…