Sarah McLaughlin: I am starting to understand why people dislike birthdays as they age

just got the leveled up version of this: a birthday message from jefferson health advising me that birthdays are a great time to schedule medical screenings

opening an email announcing that it's your birthday soon and you deserve a gift, only to find that it's an offer for free shipping on a new order of your contacts, is the adult version of ralphie decoding a secret message in a christmas story and then discovering it's about ovaltine

I am starting to understand why people dislike birthdays as they age

Just wait. Soon enough birthday messages are from AARP

thank you for that encouraging message during this trying time

Yes. The AARP stuff hurts. My wife, not quite there yet, finds it quite hilarious. The worm will turn.

Yes but if you sign up you can add her as a family member 😈

“Happy Birthday from Dignity Memorial! You likely only have a few birthdays left, so here’s a reminder to plan your funeral and begin prepaying.”

I got a very nice card from my doctor telling me to schedule a particularly personal procedure...

Or your dead dog.

ugh

Ouch!

So, tell me... what does it mean when those *stop*?

Those are tame. 60Plus and Association of Mature American Citizens letters are cookin' with gas.

And from companies selling funeral plans and planning

Been that way for a while now. Especially since I started playing games on their site 😎

Hey AAA discount!

“Happy Birthday! Your birthday is a great time to consider your mortality and the unceasing passage of time.” Oh yeah, thanks. I am slowly dying. I hadn’t thought about that for a few minutes. “Well, you think it’s slowly. Can’t be sure unless we check! Anyway…Happy Birthday!”

Eventually you get emails telling you the best gift you can give yourself is a colonoscopy and then you quit birthdays and medicine

The best is “you’re 50! Time to knock you out and check on that colon!”

Try having to get enough candles for my cake.

Ha! That’s why they make those number candles.

Do you understand how large a cake one needs to put out candles for 13 Billion+?? (points at his bio... immortal. Been watching from the very beginning.)

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