Rob Graham

@spidey004.bsky.social

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Am I strong? Listen, bud. I have radioactive blood. So, no. I’m quite weak and sick.

(I’m a he/him but all pronouns are awesome!)

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Hey, if you're looking for a fully furnished apartment, there's one available every time my neighbor leaves his apartment to go to work.

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys. Or pigboys. Or duckboys. Pretty much just stop with all the human-animal hybrids, mamas.

Folks are upset that some of their favorite songs didn’t get included in our Sweet 16 of Sitcom Themes. But my show “Robbery”— where I play kleptomaniac, Rob Steele— had an amazing theme (“Sure, he’ll take your wallet / But what he’s really stealing is your heart”) and it didn’t come up at all. 😤

New Episode! @spidey004.bsky.social and I welcome @adventcalendar.house and our ol' pal Jeeg to help nominate 16 favorite TV sitcom theme songs, then vote on them until we determine the single greatest TV sitcom theme of all time. www.afterlunchpodcast.net/2024/07/298-...

Which of *your* favorite themes did we forget or decide not to include in the latest AfterLUNCH episode: Sweet 16 of TV Sitcom Themes? Listen to @michaelmay.bsky.social, @makewistful.com, Jeeg, and I decide the greatest sitcom theme of all time! (Wherever podcasts are not sold.)

Listening to After Lunch Sweet 16 of Sit Com themes @michaelmay.bsky.social @spidey004.bsky.social you’re out of my will!

I tried saying “See you later, alligator,” but it came out “It is my hope to interact with you again, valued colleague,” because my poetic license expired.

It’s impossible that this skweet isn’t hilarious, so I’m just gonna assume you’ve all been busy.

Harris/Sonford 2024 “Get Off My Plane”

Think about it. You walk over to the meat department of your grocery store and see a minute steak. But there’s a 45-second steak right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?

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Wait till someone tells you about toothbrushes!

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Are they easier to eat scrambled eggs with than knives? Shyeah... I don't think so. I'll believe it when I see it.

Why didn’t you guys tell me about “forks”?!? They’re amazing! Yeah, there’s been a bit of a learning curve and I’ve stabbed my face a few times. But once I have all that sorted, they’re going to make eating scrambled eggs a breeze!

I don’t want to brag but whenever I binge-watch all 655 episodes of Hee Haw, I always know when to shift my body ever so slightly before getting bedsores.

You haven't lived until you've exhibited the characteristics of an organism that adapts, breathes, moves, grows, and responds to stimuli.

When I agreed to be assimilated into the Borg Collective, I really just wanted a cool laser pointer on the side of my head. But now that they gave me a special name and think I’ll be instrumental in communicating with a certain segment of humanity, I’m all in! Also, resistance is futile, etc., etc.

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You might like these shows you’ve already watched

The emails I find the most helpful are the ones from streaming services saying, “You know the show you are watching regularly? Don’t forget to keep watching that show. You’re welcome.”

My belief system is better than yours because mine is built on the rock-solid foundation that I’m right about everything.

The Man with the Golden Sponge Cake and Creamy Filling #DessertABondFilm

From Rum Cake with Love #DessertABondFilm

Ice Cream Sandwiches Are Forever #DessertABondFilm

Ladyfinger #DessertABondFilm

Yep, @michaelmay.bsky.social’s right. I think Licence to Kill (1989) is great. But just don’t take my word for it. The weird fish/human hybrid statue featured in Licence to Kill thinks so, too!

New Episode! @spidey004.bsky.social. Karen, and I wrap up 80s Bond as well as Timothy Dalton's too short time on the series with Licence to Kill. It's one of Rob's favorites, but not so much one of mine. And it's Karen's first time seeing it. www.afterlunchpodcast.net/2024/07/296-...

296 | Licence to Kill (1989)www.afterlunchpodcast.net Michael, Rob, and Karen wrap up 1980s James Bond as well as Timothy Dalton's too short time on the series with Licence to Kill . It's one ...

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Okay fine. Happy It Girl Summer.

Now @genegeorge.bsky.social will float down here with the rest of us. How about YOU? 🤡🎈

I don't wanna be destroyed! Happy It Girl Summer?

Thank you, Tubi. Not one of my so-called “friends“ has wished me a Happy It Girl Summer. And, for that, I shall destroy them.

While I’ve never had an epiphany, I’ve often been told I have an epic fanny. 🍑👀😍

No, I will not donate any of my hard-earned money to the American Cancer Society. I'm AGAINST cancer.

I read The Space Between by @corinnabechko.bsky.social & Danny Luckert. Such a cool sci-fi/romance story set on a generational starship. Each chapter deals with a different generation and you see the hard-fought evolution of their stratified society through the couple at the center of that issue. 🤩

I’m so thrilled to see this collected! Out this month, by Danny Luckert and yours truly. Writing it was a labor of love and I couldn’t be happier with the result. www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Sp...

The Space Betweenwww.simonandschuster.com A boundary-pushing science fiction epic, perfect for fans of We Only Find Them When They’re Dead, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and Tom King and Elsa Char...

Oh, yeah? Well, if I was illiterate, as you claim, could I do THIS? *drops book and does the trick where it looks like you’re pulling your thumb apart at the knuckle*

Good morning!

How do you want to be remembered? I’d like to be remembered as the guy who “accidentally” bumped into you twenty minutes before you realized your wallet was missing.

Whoops! To spell “SHAZAM” I probably shouldn’t have made the last part of the acronym start with an S. The Wisdom of STUPIDITY is really working overtime for me. Let’s pretend I ended it with the Speed of MOLASSES or something, shall we?

When I shout the mystical name “SHAZAM” I am instantly imbued with the: Wisdom of STUPIDITY Strength of HELPLESSNESS Stamina of AILMENTS Power of ZOIDBERG Courage of ANXIETY Speed of STAGNATION So… no change, really. 😑