Andy Matthews

@andymatthews.bsky.social

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Writer, terrible handyman.

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Something nobody tells you about being a man is that after a certain age the only way you can relax is by listening to LCD sound system real loud on your headphones while staring into a huge hole in a CBD construction site.

I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more just to be the man who ₘₐ𝒹ₑ ᵢₜ ₜₒ ₜₕₑ ⱼₑₜₛₜₐᵣ 𝓰ₐₜₑₛ ₐₜ ₜᵤₗₗₐₘₐᵣᵢₙₑ ₐᵢᵣₚₒᵣₜ

Look at all these addicts on the train, staring at their phones. Not like me, momentarily looking up from my phone in order to judge people.

Comic books did nothing to prepare us for how dumb-as-fuck supervillains would be in real life. Make a bad guy called 'Deadshit' I dare you.

Bury me with my open tabs.

I stride into the Louvre and point at the Mona Lisa. "I painted this", I cry. "I painted it because I was the one who had the idea to point at it."

hi, i work for channel 9 designing and developing the 9Now ap, arguably the most important technology for the future of the network. i have never actually watched television of met anyone who has and i have zero intellectual interest in finding out anything about it. i make a billion dollars a year.

SEINFELD VOICE: "Ever notice how if you want to look something up, you have to look down? Why are you looking down at your phone. Because I'm looking something up! But everything single piece of information on your phone is depressing. So how do you look after you look something up? You look down!

I reckon they should give this guy a mass.

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Andy Matthews

'Is this the day that has been appointed for the doing of The Gargle?' 🦩 @alicefraser.bsky.social @eleanormorton.bsky.social @andymatthews.bsky.social ✨ 🏚 Hot property 🍆 AI penis scan 🌎 Fast spinning Earth 🍄 Gen Z hallucinogens 🐬 Reviews 🎧 lnk.to/GarglePodcast ▶️ youtu.be/tdYt3cewrEI?...

The Gargle 151 - Alice Fraser, Eleanor Morton and Andy Matthewsyoutu.be Eleanor Morton and brand-new guest editor Andy Matthews join host Alice Fraser for episode 151 of The Gargle - the sonic glossy magazine to The Bugle, with o...

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Andy Matthews

Friends: here's a new post for you! Australia's gov't just saw its highest ever thermal coal exports in a single quarter - and the latest forecast sees PM Anthony Albanese becoming the highest fossil exporting Aus PM in history. It is all much worse than you realise: ketanjoshi.co/2024/03/31/a...

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Andy Matthews

'Sons and Daughters' ep 479: Amanda can no longer hide her affair with Weird Al Yankovic.

Trying to get my Citroen started and i have to say this is exactly the kind of nihilism I’d expect from a French car manufacturer.

Wow! This Bunnings coffee is the worst experience of my life!

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Andy Matthews

Australia's media industry awards were founded by an oil baron, and his oil company still sponsors the awards. Here's the number of climate stories granted an award each year, updated to include this year. ketanjoshi.co/2023/08/30/t... CC @kudelka.bsky.social @commsdeclare.bsky.social

Starting to suspect the swagman really wasn’t that jolly

That Frank Abignale Junior guy is not a real conman. Made the whole thing up to get money. What kind of a person does something like that?

I'm a classical disruptor. While everyone else is trying to grow meat in a lab, I'm the only one with the guts to say "Hey, what if we could get tofu from a cow?"

We are clearing up the house and Carly has suggested I throw out this bottle of wine I found inside the wall when we were renovating. Tough call.

Texas Corded Electric Chainsaw Massacre

Think I might start measuring things in fluid ounces. I’m a fluid ounce guy now.

Hi I work for the Dettol corporation. My only job is to choose the relative diameters of the hand-soap pump bottles and the associated refill packs. I make $300,000 a year.

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Andy Matthews

Reply to

Zeke Hausfather

It’s also clear that we can control how warm the planet gets over the coming decades. Climate models have consistently found once we get emissions down to net zero, the world will largely stop warming; there is no warming that is inevitable or in the pipeline after that point.

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Okay something actually happy here: the Smithsonian Folkways label has announced a new 'Friends of Folkways' program; even a donation at $5 a month gets you streaming access to their full catalog. Brush up on things before @drewdaniel.bsky.social and @lordchiefjustice.bsky.social's new album drops!

Friends of Folkways | Smithsonian Folkways Recordingsfolkways.si.edu

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Andy Matthews

More culture war energy policies from the UK. Now it’s solar being restricted because of apparent worries about food security. Reminder: golf courses take up 7x more space than current solar farms as @drsimevans.bsky.social calculated. Guardian piece here www.theguardian.com/environment/...

Check out these cool legends joining us on our (probably 24+ hour) episode tomorrow from 6am AEST. Here’s the link to watch live: youtube.com/live/NgJrCdf...

If he was born today Mozart’s first name would be Dogsquad.

For sale: clown shoes; Pagliacci killed himself.

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Andy Matthews

Don’t let the death of everybody be the enemy of progress.

Earth ‘well outside safe operating space for humanity’, scientists findwww.theguardian.com First complete ‘scientific health check’ shows most global systems beyond stable range in which modern civilisation emerged

What do people who don’t procrastinate even do all day??