Raise your hand if you've ever been told a core and non-sexual part of your identity is "kinky by definition" or if misogynists assume the most difficult thing you've ever done was *actually* a costume you wear bc of your inherent love of being degraded and used by strangers (I have no such love)
I was unaware this was a thing but, ew. Basically my entire life people have nonconsensually projected kink "identities" onto me and I honestly struggle on a regular basis with not getting reactionary about the way people adopt ~conventions~ from kink subculture and throw them around
I am not entirely "vanilla" but come at me out of nowhere with unsolicited dehumanizing porn dialogue and I will fully channel Andrea Dworkin for a week and a half
I’ve been dealing with chasers who specifically treat trans identity as “extreme” or shocking. I’ve been taken advantage of because people believed that I’d put up with anything and that I’m a box to tick on the list of extreme objects of desire.
Ugh, gross, and yeah "I'm just on this date with you to make my father mad when I tell him about it" was the most benign and normal experience I've had in this category
