Queen Kitten

@elani.bsky.social

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girl comedian

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men who don't understand when a woman is being sarcastic towards them are so funny to me. they're also dumb

Working from home means wandering from bedroom to bedroom like a haunted soul

"you're 27, your clock is ticking!" To snack time? I sure hope so

I made this last night:

you're not a bad person for getting an abortion. you're not a bad person if you don't get an abortion, but wish you had of. you're not a bad person if you regret parenthood

Graduation is in two weeks. Christmas is in three. My birthday is less than a month away. Let's gooooooooooooo

Choose your fighter:

Surprisingly, no one asked me today when I'm having kids. I suspect it's because we all see how much groceries currently cost

Thanksgiving is the day where EVERYBODY acts like they're eating for two

"humans doing the hard jobs on minimum wage while the robots write poetry and paint is not the future I wanted"

look at this little kitty. she is 22

There was no mac and cheese at my family's thanksgiving and now I'm wondering if they even care about me

If women comedians didn't go to open mics and share their material, how would male comedians ever get any new material for themselves

Hugging another skinny person is kinda weird, it's like embracing another human stick

Hosting this tonight!

If you want to break up with your bf because he's annoying and you're growing to hate him, just start spewing serial killer facts right before y'all go to sleep. A breakup will occur in less than six weeks and you can finally find a man that appreciates you

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Queen Kitten

this is a great opportunity to put a forward thinking, fresh-faced and vibrant 75 year old in the senate

Boy math this, girl dinner that .. can't we all go to Olive Garden and be a proper family?

I really admire people who are able to finish their food in one go

most men were quiet about roe v Wade getting overturned because they (secretly or not so secretly). agreed with it getting overturned. Easier to control the people with wombs that way. Easier to keep their places of power in society

Russell Brand looks like he goes around yelling at puppies

I am on the phone with a man that keeps interrupting me and I know I said I was going to cut back on drinking but this phone call is making me rethink that

"people have been raising kids since the dawn of time" okay that doesn't mean they were doing a good job at it, though

You have to be a brave soul to go into a Greyhound restroom, and come out without washing your hands

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Queen Kitten

Oh my god, you’re a comedian AND you’re a girl? Have you ever seen marvelous mrs maisel?? You remind me of her

Floof da baby

The amount of men who find out I work from home and then ask "and what else do you do?..." sir. I have A JOB. what else am I supposed to be doing