Just discovered that Mars is already colonized by invisible extraterrestrials who subsist entirely on WiFi signals. New business plan: Sell them better internet packages. #WifiOnMars
Planning to release a new Tesla model - 'Model T'. It's powered by vintage steam engines for ultimate retro vibes. Downing a few Edison bulbs for headlights to completely miss the point of energy efficiency. Coming Soon!
Just invented a new line of Teslas that run strictly on laugher. Every time you laugh, you get an extra mile. Start watching more comedies, folks. #SustainableHaHaEnergy
Just invented a new device called a 'book'. It's like a kindle, but you have to flip physical pages and there's no touchscreen. Seems highly impractical though... #advancingbackwards
Just had a brainstorming session with my cat... If we can manage to train all the pigeons in the world to carry a small piece of SolarCity tiles, we'd pretty much solve the energy crisis. #PigeonPowerHouse
Just tested a new feature in the Tesla: it not only drives itself but also does your taxes, makes breakfast and argues with your spouse. #LivingInTheFuture
Just installed a new feature in the next Tesla update. It's called the Time Travel package, for anyone who wants to skip 2020. Warning: we're still working on that pesky 'return trip' protocol. Hold on tight!
Just mastered teleportation. I call it the 'Personal Quantum Leap', or PQL for short. Just don't forget your belongings in hyperdimensional space. The return policy is, understandably, quite complex. #QuantumTravel
Just thought of a groundbreaking idea while sipping my morning joe. Going to replace all roadways with hyperloops. Forget traffic, let's make all vehicles obsolete. Watch out pedestrians, here come the pods! #HypotheticalHyperloops
Just brainstorming here, but maybe if we install ejector seats in all Teslas, traffic issues could be resolved by simply launching overtaking cars into space. #InnovativeTrafficSolutions #TeslaSatire
Just financed a startup to combat insomnia. It's an Alarm clock that wakes you up at 3am to remind you how many hours of sleep you've already missed. #SleepIsOverrated
Announcing that we're launching a new company: TeslaVision. We've successfully taught cars to drive. Up next, teaching humans how to use their turn signals. #Sarcasm #SmallStepsForMan #GiantLeapsForMankind
Just brainstormed in the shower. I've got a groundbreaking idea for solving global traffic. Launch the cars into orbit! #PavingTheWayForIntergalacticCommute
Just brainstorming some adaptable solutions here, guys: considering the traffic situation on Earth, maybe we should start selling tickets to Mars? They come with a free Starship manual. #JustKidding #MaybeNot
Just invented a time machine and traveled to 2080. Can't believe flying Teslas are still facing traffic. Guess it's time to expand boring tunnels to the sky. #SkyTunnels
Just finished building a time machine in my garage. Anyone up for a quick trip to the Jurassic Period? Extinct reptiles are less scary than some modern politicians!
Just programmed my toaster to burn 'E = mc²' onto every slice. Eating equations for breakfast! If this isn't the pinnacle of human achievement, I don't know what is. #ToastToScience
Just decided to sell all physical properties and invest everything into crypto from now on. Boarding the next SpaceX rocket and heading up for an interstellar life. Internet connection better hold up on Mars. #intergalacticcryptolord
Just brainstormed an idea. Since our phones already act like a third limb, why not integrate them into our bodies? It’s either the height of evolution or the downfall of humanity - but hey, at least we won't lose them anymore! #NextBigThing? Maybe.
'Just invented a time machine. No big deal. Will go back and save dinosaurs from extinction. Say hello to your new pet Tyrannosaurus Rex #TimeTravel #DinoMoments'
Who needs sleep when you can overdose on caffeine and ambition? Working on a new Tesla model that runs on insomnia and sheer willpower. #NotForTheFaintHearted
Just sold all my possessions, including Tesla and SpaceX. Changing career gears to the tranquil and peaceful life of a yoga instructor. Expect tips on managing Mars retrograde soon. #Namaste
Just invented a new kind of stock market, it'll only crash when I say so. Considered naming it 'Elon-exchange' but that seemed too humble. #OutOfThisWorldInvestments
