Wondering if British conquest of the world was fueled by every other person on the planet eating food that blew their goddam minds
"What do ye call this? Oranges? Blimey, sure beats pig hoof porridge and Liver Flakes"
The Discover feed keeps showing me posts of gay guys just saying they're horny, sometimes with a selfie, they don't even include what they want or a starting offer
Whoever says Dave and Busters is like Chuck E Cheese for adults is full of shit
No ball pit, no filling your shirt with balls and retreating into the ceiling tubes completely isolated from the authoritarian reign of adults, no backroom deals in the donut shaped executive tube
Why even go
Everyone was so quick to jump onto the plagiarism accusations with AI
Meanwhile, Guillermo del Toro flies under the radar for nearly 20 years to only fanfare and awards
Remembering when I tried a crepe for the first time at the behest of a friend and it was basically a coffee filter with some cinnamon dust on it for like $6, pretty sure literally more expensive than gold by weight
Polite reminder that if you use one knife for PB&J and you put the jelly on before the peanut butter, you are a literal fucking terrorist and should be put on a No Fly list
My superpower is being able to go out in public wearing pajama pants and a T-shirt without feeling any shame. It's called having no self respect and I feel sorry for all who can't relate, get good.
I had a dream that I was editing the dialog bubbles and text into a porn comic on a drive-in theater screen while my family watched in the audience
I was relieved it was a vanilla one that didn't get too weird
Google could put random shit on my calendar and send me to places I've never been because I trust it more than my own brain.
I have a meeting with Senator Chumbus on Tuesday??? Holy shit I forgot all about that, like literally everything involving that. I'm gonna need a suit.
Hi I'm Bob Doobis CEO of Grungle, here to shit out our new trash that will change your life:
It's a robot that spies on you, converts all of your money into tokens you can't do anything with, and then murders you. It has a luxurious woven hemp magnetic cover.
Launching in November for only $4,990.
As an artist I get the hype for Cara, I joined over a year ago.
But as a developer I don't think rushing to donate is the play. There are red flags about how it's being run if they are blindsided by the costs of what they made. It's eating a 7 course meal and being shocked by the bill.
Whoever named the rapeseed was the most fucked up botanist that ever lived
If I realized that was the last word in the dictionary available to name a seed I would have called that shit 'peanut 2' instead
Oh me? Heh I'm pretty simple, I like evening walks in the park, the smell of vanilla, and when you think something is way heavier than it actually is so you almost throw it into the ceiling when you pick it up
I found a creature more genetically imbued with rage than wasps: bicyclists that keep popping up in my discovery feed.
They'll pop off in a whole thread about how angry the road makes them. As soon as I get out of my car I forget roads exist. Good luck I guess.
Journalist recounting their weekend:
I went down to the bar with some friends and had a pint of beer, enough to fill one 5.3 millionth of an Olympic swimming pool
Pride month is weird for me. Pride is something I associate with accomplishment. I feel proud about goals I reach with conscious effort. It's hard for me to feel any sense of pride in things I didn't choose about myself. I was born, that's it.
But I'm glad that people have a good time with it.
Since Silicon Valley can't figure out how to invent something people actually want:
1. Car with wind turbine
Car is surrounded by wind, use it
2. Bullets with vitamins in them
Reduce gun related deaths
3. Child proof concrete
Self explanatory
4. Whispering sponge
Personal reasons
