when we first started talking, i thought "finally, a guy who doesn't play mind games, who respects me, who i can just have a conversation with"
the closer i got to him, the more recalcitrant and argumentative he became. constant trolling. zeno's arrow of intimacy
he shares his fave YT vids all the time. if i share mine, he talks over them, points out things wrong, calls their messages into question
i'd say he does the same thing when i show him my art, but i'm used to men i like brushing off my artistic efforts. never fails
talking to him is like playing Calvinball. i never know the rules and when i figure them out, he moves the goalposts.
his response? "just attack my weaknesses, too." that's not how i operate! i just want to have a fucking conversation!!
i'm leaning heavily on anecdotes with this one guy bc he's the most recent, but this is how it's been with SO MANY men i've fancied at one point or another. my worst ex had this in spades. even my first crush in 7th grade was a steep uphill climb, and for what?
ex used to leave near-empty soda cans all over. one day when he was playing Command & Conquer, i insisted he clean them up. fighting -> me trying to move his chair away from his PC. he turned, grabbed my wrists, and twisted.
only later did i learn C&C has no pause button, which HE NEVER TOLD ME.
all this dumb shit, completely avoidable if only he'd said the real reason instead of PHYSICALLY HARMING ME. and that doesn't get into the negligible time it would have taken to clean them up.
he would also denigrate how i did dishes (never doing them himself)
