Alright. Its time for the Pride Rant. I just want to preface this thread with a couple of things. First off, content warnings for homophobia, violence, and self harm. Second, I am leaving this open to comments, but I'm not looking for an argument. If your response is to "yeah but" me, don't bother.
I will just ignore you. So here's the deal. Seen a bit of "Ok but I don't understand why we have/need pride. Its not my style." Kind of stuff coming from some younger queers this year. And I am going to explain to you why I do it. Why it's important to me. I'm not expecting to convince you.
Im not trying to change your mind. Only you can do that. But maybe I can give you a new perspective. So you're going to get The Gay Life of Grimmy Q. Coyote in Bsky Novella format. I apologize ahead of time for the wall o text.
The first time I remember encountering the word "gay" in a context other than "happy", I was maybe 5 or 6 years old. In kindergarten or 1st grade maybe. The when is hazy. The what is still pretty clear in my memory. And older kid on the bus sat next to me and asked "Are you gay?"
And me, precocious and innocent answered "Yes." Because I was in a good mood and didn't understand. So the kid started laughing at me and explaining that "gay" is "when two boys do it". I didn't really understand what that meant. But I knew it was bad. Something to be made fun of.
Some awkward conversations with my parents later did nothing to clear it up. But the discomfort and distaste from my folks was enough. Fast forward a couple of years. Im playing on the play ground with another boy. We're playing house. And older boy starts yelling "fag" at us.
Later that week he gets into a fight with me because I'm a "fag". It was a kid fight and we didnt do much damage to one another. But the message was beaten into my brain. Fags are contemptable. To beaten and mocked.
My friends played a game called "Smear the Queer"
It was a friendly game among friends, reverse tag with a football, but the name didn't come from nowhere, and I didn't get it at the time. Violence against one who's different from the rest of us. :S
Well. 3 of us ended up being gay, after all...
Yeah that was a game we played too. That names was one of those little things that got under my skin tbh. Always stung a little bit when I thought about what it meant.
My mother told me that if someone came out as gay in the town she grew up in, the community came together to support the rest of their family... as if they had already died.
Memories coming back. They played that one at a (city-sponsored) youth daycamp when I was a kid. About 1993. Counselors used that name and everything. Somehow no one thought that was weird at the time.
So I had an interesting encounter at my workplace today.
I'm wearing my rainbows as part of Pride this month & a lady asked me: ally or part of the community.
I kinda froze a bit then explained that I'm demisexual etc & she asked if she could hug me because 'thank you for being you' 1/
She then went on to say she has a kid, just turned 17 who came out as trans when she was 15 & has been taking steps to transition.
But unfortunately she had been at a Pride event at the weekend & her plus her friends were made to feel less than they are because of slurs shouted at them 2/
This lady had had such a good experience with me that she wanted to ask me as well if she could bring her daughter next time to this safe space for her first bra fitting.
I was beyond moved because I aspire to help others feel safe. /3
I work in a VERY personal & intimate job - bra fitting as well as prosthesis for not only survivors but also those seeking to look & feel more like themselves.
It was humbling & highly emotional.
Anyway, after all that I just wanted to say; thank you for your thread.
Happy Pride!
🌈🤍🩷🩵🤎🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🌈
I don't personally do Pride myself, but as a queer guy in the millennial age range, I'm old enough to get why it's important that it exist. Thanks for sharing your story.
Other queer people can take it or leave it, but they should at least know WHY it exists and then can decide if it's for them.
❤️🌈
You're really right, how can it be possible that Queer youth believe that we do not deserve or need pride and rights, what happened to you is proof of the ignorance and prejudice against Queer community, living with fear, pain and hatred.
Nobody should live like that because of what we really are.
Unfortunately it's really similar to us who were born in the 90s with the AIDS epidemic. We heard about how bad it was kind of, but had no real concept about the horrors because we grew up when it was far more managed. Not done, but managed.
When we aren't exposed to history, we can't know.
That is why we must learn Queer history, obviously we do not live it but it does not mean that we should ignore it and pretend that it does not exist, obviously we do not do that, but hate groups want to do everything possible so that we forget that fact and more in relation to Pride and its history
I don’t really think it’s prejudice in this case. Assuming it’s other queer folk who think Pride is unnecessary. Not even ignorance. Things have changed a LOT and most people are ambivalent about people who are queer.
I know that things have changed but we cannot ignore so easily that there is neither of the two currently, because prejudice and ignorance still exist.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope it lands on open ears. It's always the ones who live under the umbrella erected by the previous generation that don't understand why it's even there.
I remember my boy scout troop playing regular games of Smear the Queer, and I was always the queer. I hadn't even realized I was gay yet at the time, but it solidified the idea of gayness being something to beat on, inferior, wrong.
