Jack: It's funny hearing Starmer's DPP record lauded as evidence he's super competent. The people who worked for and with him always describe his greatest achievement as computerising the CPS's database. It was like 2008 lol.

It's funny hearing Starmer's DPP record lauded as evidence he's super competent. The people who worked for and with him always describe his greatest achievement as computerising the CPS's database. It was like 2008 lol.

*pinched nose voice* "we need to get these files moved onto microsoft word, it's not the 90s any more"

"I know people might call it bold and I'm not helping dispel my reputation as a maverick, but I think we should be bringing our database up to speed with TopShop's.

"I've introduced standardised email signatures to the office of public prosecutions, thrusting us into the twenty-first century"

"Who the FLIP keeps putting that 'Savile, J' file on my desk?! If it's important enough for me to read, it's important enough to be typed up by the temp. I can't play solitaire on a flipping paper file."

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