jeremy

@jeremysparks.bsky.social

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currently spitballing some big ideas, MacArthur fellow for suggesting a ‘gesundheit’ for burps.

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If you need me, I’ll be busy getting in touch with my inner child by whispering the lyrics to “God of Emptiness” by Morbid Angel on the back pew of the rectory.

A video game where you burn down your job (it loads it from google maps) and the mayor cries (you get points when the mayor cries)

Me, fumbling through cd jewel cases driving a car through kiosks in an empty shopping mall: “The Above The Rim soundtrack would go so hard right now”

“New Jesus Lizard video please.” The monkey’s paw shudders and lowers one of its nine fingers.

Ripping off a drum pattern is ok, huh? Like, standard practice?

Aaron Rash’s Utero IR pack is so fantastic. Get it.

Me, dipping a finger into the creek and lazily tasting it: “This won’t do at all, fellas. It’s just water.” Gold dust shimmers kaleidoscopic in the whorls of the eddy.

Laughed out of the surf shop for asking if Mr Zog sold a virgin wax.

Baring my soul, El Paso style.

Throwing rocks into my blender until the gravel is just right.

completely convinced that I could immediately worm my way into any medieval king’s court if I got to bring Nestle Quik in the time machine

Writing my enemies’ names on a piece of paper and then forcing it into the overflowing mouth of the golem.

“This is for when y’all wanna pass gas!”

Earlier I was thinking about how if, in The Kings Speech, in that balcony address he just went into Buttermilk Biscuits by Sir Mixalot.

Anyone built a decent gm screen in Foundry for SWADE? For a rules light game, I keep having to go back to the book. #swade

Drunkenly challenging, “Is that so, Miriam? When was I ‘sent careening’?”

Trying out having a pellicle this year.

Desperately googling “Mr. Boogedy ending explained” until some ai fills me in.

I keep thinking about a necromancer going through the entire ritual to awaken a spirit and seek its counsel by speaking to its skull. But she skull wakes up and is just like: “Girrrrrllllllllll…”

nothing 2 eat in hell 😔

Thinking about how funny if it would be if www were hhh. English people talking about haich haich haich greggs c-o dot u-k

just got hit by a haymaker of a memory of how around 2003, "eats, shoots & leaves" was the most clever thing people had ever encountered.

me when i smoke (1) weed

“No! Vern! Don’t answer that, me knowing if you know what I mean in the future could have extremely dangerous implications! Even if your intentions are good, it can backfire drastically!”

new idea today: 'the paisan neutron'. vocaroo.com/14MqXjymFnob

Vocaroo | Online voice recordervocaroo.com Vocaroo is a quick and easy way to share voice messages over the interwebs.

me, looking through a telescope at Ganymede: so this is how far away again? “650,000 miles… and some change” me, annoyed: sorry, i don’t carry cash.

me: terrific! i’ll take it! turkish ice cream cone vendor: by all means! help yourself.

Sitting on the city bus with a real coy smile until someone asks about my 18th century pike.

me, witchmaster general: If thee be a witche... goon! fella that's definitely a witch: prithee a brief respite! mine loins are fallow! me, bellowing: GET THEE TO THE CUCK CHAIRE!

Officially banned from calling in requests at KEXP. I find it hard to believe they don’t have “I Be Stroking” by Clarence Carter