Karpov's Machine

@karpovsmachine.bsky.social

3072

Posts

Corrupting the youth and worshipping false gods since 2005. Former Marine. Grammy Award winner. Marxist-Feminist.

Ask me why ACAB. Go ahead and ask. I can prove it.

Posts Replies Media

Sometimes I just want someone to say to me "It's okay, Dad" in Bobby Hill's voice, y'know?

Monday morning: "Hey, Don . . . They're probably gonna keep shooting at you unless there's someone ever worse waiting in the wings to take your place."

Fun fact: Jesus was a furry. That's why they call him the Lamb of God. His fursona is a lamb.

I'd like to get into falconry, but apparently there's a WHOLE BUNCH of laws about that. Like there's a fucking TEST the State makes you pass.

I'm just saying that if President Joe Biden had all of Trump's assets seized and distributed to student loan debtors, he couldn't be prosecuted for that.

Did anyone else's Notifications just blow up with a week's worth of shit that you'd already gotten a Notification about? Weird.

I'm just saying that if you purchase a home as an investment rather than as a place to live, then fuck you.

It's wild how pornography remains a profitable industry despite the fact that we clearly live in a post-scarcity porn economy.

When I was like 12, one of my friends said that they want to go to the University of Nebraska, get a degree in forestry, and become the head ranger of a national park. It seemed such an oddly specific set of plans for a 12-year-old to have . . . especially a 12-year-old from New Jersey.

Fun fact: Robots can't crochet. They can knit, no problem. And they do a few of the simpler crochet stitches (the kind you can also easily do with knitting needles), but the finger movements required for more complex crochet stitches are beyond even our most dexterous robots.

QFT

La Marseillaise, sung by Mireille Mathieu. American English subtitles.youtu.be Performance at the foot of the Eiffel Tower in 1989 for its 100th anniversary. Mireille Mathieu sings La Marseillaise, the French national anthem. According ...

Did you ever notice Elmo only uses proper names, not pronouns? The anti-woke crowd should love that lil guy.

Allons enfant de la patrie, Le jour de gloire est arrivé!

Fun fact: While truly perpetual motion remains impossible. Motion that will persist until long after every human is gone is cheap as chips.

Just want to remind everyone that Arizona Iced Tea is still only 99 cents for 22 ounces because inflation is a con. Nothing has to cost more. Capitalists are just pathological greedy.

Then perish.

The Phoenix police union is warning that more than half of its officers are thinking about quitting unless city leaders fight oversight from the Justice Department

Phoenix police union: 56% of officers thinking about quitting unless city fights DOJ oversightwww.kjzz.org The Phoenix Law Enforcement Association is the largest union of rank and file police officers employed by the city. The group is warning that more than half of its officers are thinking about quitting...

We should bring back those pants that are really baggy down to the knee, but then skin tight to the ankles.

Fun fact: Fewer than a third of Florida's counties have ACTUALLY banned any books at all, and of all the titles that have been banned from public schools, over 4/5 of them are banned ONLY from Clay County (SW Jacksonville) public schools. Most of the state is not on board with this bullshit.

Dogs are basically werewolves. Half wolf. Half man. Feet in both worlds, but a full and equal member of neither. They are adorable, sociable, helpful little werewolves.

Fun fact: Americans are three times more likely to be killed by a vending machine than the global average. American men are FIFTY times more likely to be killed by a vending machine than American women are.

So it's never addressed whether the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles give birth to a small number of live young, which they nurse, or lay clutches of eggs, which hatch into a large number of precocial offspring. I think it should be the latter, and here's why:

Fun fact: If metaphysical determinism is true, then you are always trying your best. You literally could not be trying any harder that you are. Ever.

Dear everyone: Just stop voting for people over the age of 60. It's what destroyed the Athenian democracy, and it will destroy your democracy, too.

Fun fact: In most mammals, nipples form BEFORE the sexing of gonads, which is my non-nursing sexes have nipples. The few exceptions (mice, horses, most marsupials) tend to NOT have nipples on the males.

July mood

Y'know how draftees returning from the Vietnam War were spit on and jeered at by anti-war protesters? Yeah, there's zero evidence that shit ever actually happened.

A lot of people know that coca-cola used to have cocaine in it. What a lot of people don't know is that an entire bottle had about 10 mg of cocaine in it. Ten times that much (100 mg) of cocaine is considered a relatively small recreational dose. Wasn't nobody getting high on coca-cola.

I'm just saying that if solipsism is true, then I am one fucked-up motherfucker, huh?

Fun fact: The Scottish Highlands and the Appalachian Mountains were once a single mountain range. Those mountains are older than Kingdom Animalia.

Fun fact: There's plenty of reformed bigots out there. There's plenty of people who used to say and do and believe bigoted shit, and then at some point realized they were wrong and changed for the better. And y'know what NONE of those former bigots EVER say?