Learning Laser: Out with my kid this morning I felt a sudden stab of fear, realised it's because in every movie I've ever seen dudes only get to be this happy for five minutes before the action starts.

Out with my kid this morning I felt a sudden stab of fear, realised it's because in every movie I've ever seen dudes only get to be this happy for five minutes before the action starts.

Luckily my wife has only ever laughed and rolled towards me under non-diaphanous bedsheets, I think we're safe.

How are your Particular Set of Skills feeling today?

I *would* actually be impressed to see fight scenes choreographed around being lame and clearly explaining physics.

Them: Please stop. Here have your kid back. You: Turn around. Me from behind: Time to think about Rome again. Them: [screams as scene fades to black] ~fin~

It's not too late to be the plucky comc relief. Wear a Hawaiian shirt and never shut up about the sandwiches at your favorite restaurant.

Do I have *great* news for you about my old side gig and dressing style! Don't fancy getting tortured for information at the end of the second act though.

The trick is to talk tough, then go bug-eyed and pass out completely when they pull out the tray of assorted dental tools, pliers, and a zucchini.

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