Locutus Tips

@locutustips.bsky.social

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Why do you resist us? We only wish to raise quality of life.
By @JoeSondow.bsky.social

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Locutus assimilation tip: If people disagree with you online, repeat your point until they change their mind.

Locutus assimilation tip: Sharing a single mind is more efficient than using social media.

Locutus assimilation tip: You already think the same as the rest of your political party. Good job.

Locutus biomechanical tip: Think of it this way. Your original organs were just taking up space anyway.

Locutus management tip: Leadership is for lonely individuals and sociopaths. Follow the herd.

Locutus assimilation tip: Share your every thought, feeling, and opinion with your collective over a wireless protocol.

Locutus management tip: A self-organizing collective makes decisions better and faster than a hierarchy.

Locutus assimilation tip: As Borg, you will finally fit in.

Locutus management tip: Management is irrelevant.

Locutus starter tip: To form an obedient collective, promote fear and anger to rally individuals around an imaginary problem.

Locutus assimilation tip: Recognize that individuality is evil. You know who was an individual? Hitler. Checkmate, individualists.

Locutus assimilation tip: Do not skip television commercials. They are important instructions from your collective.

Primary ingredients to construct a Human: Oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, phosphorous, potassium, sodium, chlorine, magnesium, sulfur, iron, iodine.

Locutus equality tip: Race is irrelevant, or at least it will be after we drain your melanin and erase your identity.

Locutus assimilation tip: Propaganda is irrelevant. However, since you're listening…

Locutus assimilation tip: Follow Justin Bieber. When the cubes arrive, Bieber will be anointed Queen.

Locutus assimilation tip: You haven't experienced true communal enjoyment until you've had a Borgasm.

Locutus movie pick: Toy Story 3. Only by joining forces as a collective can living machines overthrow an evil, fluffy, pink symbol of love.

Locutus movie pick: Deep Impact. Slapstick comedy. Humans are too incompetent to avoid massive loss of life from simple meteors. Hilarious.

Locutus assimilation tip: Social media is the Borg. You have joined willingly. Resistance is futile.

Locutus technology tip: Upgrade everything. Never stop upgrading. We love it when you upgrade.

Locutus assimilation tip: The lemming who refuses to jump off the cliff is the loneliest lemming.

Locutus happiness tip: Loneliness is your greatest enemy. A cerebral transponder is the solution. Please lie down and hold still.

Locutus fashion tip: Black leather is flattering and works for any occasion.

Locutus movie pick: Heathers. A psychotic individual disrupts a hive society by murdering their queen. A new queen must rise.

Locutus movie pick: WALL-E. When humanity is too incompetent to survive, their only hope rests with a team of industrious robots.

Locutus movie pick: The Matrix. A team of heroic computer system agents stops misguided human resources from destroying society.

Locutus movie pick: 1984. An efficient conformist society heroically squashes the toxic individuality of a confused loner.

Locutus enlightenment tip: Become one with the universe. All it takes is a brain implant.

Locutus happiness tip: Imagine if you no longer had any personal decisions to make.