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This is our new foster pup from sdhumane.org. He's a senior pit bull / bulldog mix who loves his treats. The shelter named him Jolly Giant, but we call him The Reverend Doctor Leamington Aloysius Barksdale IV, as befits his dignitude. If you want to adopt him, see www.sdhumane.org/adopt/availa...

Actually no. The kingdom is terrible they can keep it.

Laying siege to the Burger King.

Fuck you and your speakerphone buddy

I read an audio book with the subtitles on

I got called hot by my date tonight. Pretty sure that’s a first.

Camp town ladies sing this song, Du hast , du hast Camp town track is five miles long oh du hast mich

Noam Chomsky is playing the Schrödinger’s Cat game.

I’m not sure how they thought they were going to check the fitness and wellness with my pants still on but I’m not allowed back in here

Make a band less Picodeth

Make a band less The Gang of Three

Nobody ever gets their throat ripped out at Texas Roadhouse and frankly that’s an oversight that should force a rebranding

He did really well! Had him do circuits of a school parking lot. Only drove over the curb once!

I’m going to attempt to give my son his first driving lesson today. Been dreading this since the days of gokarts at legoland. Wish me drunk…er…luck!

When a meeting is wrapping up and the host asks if anyone has any questions that is rhetorical. Don’t ask a question, email that shit.

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WASHINGTON (AP) — Supreme Court preserves access to widely used abortion medication, throwing out legal challenge from abortion opponents.

“Hello me, meet the real me”

"Oh my god Becky, look at her butt!"

The guy sharing his screen in this meeting is an hour ahead of me so every time I look at the clock I get disappointed it’s not an hour later.