sexy garfield impersonator

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sexy garfield impersonator

@priushunter.bsky.social

Real person. shitposting account. Don’t eat animals
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No Jobs, No Cash, No Hope, and Ruthless
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young, dumb, and full of cum. pick two.
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On the plus side we’ll at least get Jimmy Pesto back
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Living in America is constantly doing that dumb little wave to apologize to cars for existing as a body of flesh
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20 something me: condom in my wallet 40 something me: dude wipe single in my wallet
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My dog will never have to deal with his Apple Watch telling him to stand up while he’s taking a shit. He is free
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Getting some novelty underwear printed that says “This site uses cookies” and over the left ball it says “Allow All” and over the right ball it says “Manage My Preferences”
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Love how we’ve all been trained by the marketing industrial complex to call them “Gen Alpha” instead of just “children”
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In Canada this week which is like America but without the “might get shot” aspect
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Working on my Morrissey impression to “spice things up” in the bedroom
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Sharks, I’m the founder and CEO of Toilet Owl, the toilet cleaning robot you always wanted
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When a centrist dies, the correct response is to bury him in an unmarked No Labels grave
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I don’t get window seat people. You want to ask two strangers permission to use the toilet? Okay sicko.
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At Walgreens waiting patiently for them to unlock the anal bleach shelf
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Using my new Apple goggles to visualize not being a total piece of shit
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Me as capital: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me as labor: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
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I’ve thought long and hard about it and where I’ve landed is that America is a bad place and rotten to the core and doesn’t want to change except for small pockets of delusional people like me. If it were easy to relocate pets we’d be fukin outta this shithole yesterday
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Can’t stop watching “steamboat Willie”” pornos on chat gpt
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