it's 2036. the US presidential election is between Kyle Rittenhouse (R) and Martin Shkreli (D). thousands are still proclaiming that every vote is important, to not vote is to vote for fascism, and that anything bad that happens to marginalized people is their fault for not voting. for Shkreli.
researcher after spending ages methodically testing homophobic talking points, disproving them, and compiling results into a published paper to help back up advocacy with data: here's my study showing same-sex couples can raise healthy children
internet queer: wow no shit sherlock you don't say? 🙄
eating a grilled bologna and cheese for breakfast while watching a bukkake porn where they give the girl a comically small umbrella to try to hide under
Thanks for the vid of this legendary tour! I saw these guys tear it up on stage back in 87. Best show I've ever been to! Soon as I got home I got a call from the sheriff saying to come identify the bodies of my four kids after they had been found mauled to death by a pack of feral dogs. God bless.
all cops are bastards? even the cop that wipes splattered family dog parts off the service guns so they look nice and clean while they threaten parents with them during an active school shooting? even him?
Dasani? miss me with that trash. a pile of 7 month old babies have to pick ten thousand drops of dew off of malaria-infected catus needles in 95°C heat with a pair of tweezers made of their mother's bones for 22 hours straight to make one plastic bottle of Evian. and that's why it tastes so good
the west has done so much damage to the world by spreading colonial racism homophobia and capitalism that it is my duty as a progressive to stand up and fight this thought poison wherever I see it. oh no not the puritanism though, I think the 16th century protestants had it all figured out there
here in jimland, big jim is the king of our democracy. big jim decides what we get to vote on, when, and he makes up rules for who gets how many votes. this isn't going well and we've decided the only way to fix it is by voting big jim out. if we do our civic duty and vote, we'll get him soon I bet
wondered once again what, if anything, cops are dependable for and realized there actually is one thing: swatting. if someone needs protection, a crime solved, something stolen recovered, you're SOL, but they CAN reliably get them to ambush and terrorize someone at a given address, so there's that
when I first learned about the lawful neutral druids in dnd whose mission is to "maintain a balance between good and evil" I thought they were fucking stupid dickheads and actually just evil with more steps, so imagine my dismay when I found out about centrism
the gender euphoria an incel gets when his mom doing the laundry complains he never listens to her about wiping his ass better, confirming he's a sigma male
the other five people waiting their turn at karaoke when I sing all four minutes of Get Lucky with no instrumental track because it's not on the thing: "you're either insanely brave or cool or you're a genius"
*watches a dog take a shit, sniff its shit, gag, throw up on the shit, then eat the barf off of the shit*
"Facepalm. A classic example of dunning-kruger syndrome. And maybe horseshoe theory too."
I strongly believe in the progressive principle of understanding and accepting people who aren't like me except when it's not comfy or the vibes are off or they're not my aesthetic
you know cops suck because it's one of the only professions we call people as an insult for bad behavior. you never snitch and somebody calls you a cashier for it. you never preserve fascist power structures and get called a dog walker for it. if someone calls you a cop you fucked up big time
"damn I hate that good journalism is so rare now"
"oh yeah? then why don't you like paywalls? why don't you pay for a recurring subscription to every news site you ever see linked to read one article just on the off chance it's actually decent for once? fake journalism fan"
much like an anime protagonist, I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose when it's time to get serious. conversely, I pull them back down again when it's time to be a goofy dipshit like when I'm online
I was pretty worried about the news that florida made it legal to burn people at a stake for "public gender violations" but once I saw 500 guys posting the headline and saying they're not surprised or shocked by it, that really reassured me and calmed me down. god bless the not surprised guys
across the country, kids are being indoctrinated from youth by the media, teachers, even parents, into believing they need something they don't need and then rushed off to get it before they can really understand it, many of them saddled with lifelong regrets as a result: expensive college degrees
there should be a certain wealth threshold (say, a billion dollars) where you, your image, your work, and your identity automatically become public domain and people can do whatever they want with it because the world already paid for it all. don't like it? don't hoard a billion dollars. simple.
