Shylo

@shylo.bsky.social

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Mostly just exhausted | Unclaimed treasure

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Happy look around your neighborhood for messed up trees day

Two of history's more punchable faces.

Breaking News: Donald Trump selected J.D. Vance, the Ohio senator and “Hillbilly Elegy” author, to be his running mate. nyti.ms/4d1NIjo

I've been watching a dude try to park a car in a space way too small for about 10 minutes. He's smashing into bumpers and playing music at about 700 decibels. We loogie at dawn.

There's a hell of a sunrise. Now go back to bed.

My kid wants to go play volleyball in the rain and at least I've met my deductible for the year.

Cool, literally all the Mariano's stores I've ever gone to will be sold. www.nbcchicago.com/news/busines...

Nearly three-dozen Chicago-area Mariano's, Jewel stores to be sold in Kroger-Albertson's merger questwww.nbcchicago.com As they continue to pursue a blockbuster merger, Kroger and Albertsons have identified nearly three-dozen Illinois stores they plan to sell as part of a divestiture agreement, according to a press rel...

Where are we scoring our weight loss drugs for less than $500 a month nowadays, friends?

Asking for someone who is definitely not me: do holidays cause a delay in reporting lab results?

Elder Gen Xers dudes are not okay, maybe. I just heard one guy say, "Every sandwich shop owes its success to the George Foreman Grill," and the other guy HEARTILY AGREED.

Friends, what do the kids consider "bases" nowadays? Don't include soaking.

Has, in the history of the world, a fireworks asshole gotten up the next day to pick up the garbage? If so, they've never lived in any neighborhood I've ever been in.

Does anyone do that thing where they do two mortgage payments a month to reduce interest?

Thanks to the Streets and San guy driving around the neighborhood with a siren absolutely screaming into a speaker that he's about to start towing cars. Are there signs up? No, there are not.

I just saw a farmhouse chic pontoon boathouse, so you win, Chip and Joanna Gaines.

But how are their golf scores?

How stoked am I to figure out this code on one of my overpriced games because I know what Ogham is, for the other Irish language weirdos.

These decisions are like when you play one of those fighting video games and your opponent just goes ham on you.

Man, Gavin Newsome is spinning faster than that guy who spins plates at Casa de Fruta (nod to CA olds).

Woe be to all the people who have to call their Boomer dads this weekend.

CNN is full of democratic commentators talking about how maybe Joe Biden should reconsider running. What the absolute fuck? How are we here? How is THIS the guy that we ran against THAT guy? The convention is in six weeks. We are out of time.

Two old white guys arguing about their FUCKING GOLF HANDICAP belongs at a suburban donut shop and not in the WHITE HOUSE.

I'm sorry, what the fuck answer was that from Biden about abortion?

Yikes, this isn't going well.

Never going to stop being cranky about what this church did to the letter I.

Name This Scam!

Quite the little lightning show out there right now.

I have watched 17 dudes fail to figure out how to open a door and I just can't say, "Use your hip," to these obvious MBAs anymore.

Watching Presumed Innocent (Apple TV) and this lead character, a CHIEF PROSECUTOR, gives an ad hoc statement without counsel and man, have they not heard of ... the Constitution? It is set in Chicago, ffs.

I was at a Ravinia concert wherein they just roped off an area post security/pre ticket where Baby Boomers just blazed the bejeezus out of their weed. Just clouds, like I was at Smokin' Grooves '96.

Happy Father's Day to all of my fellow dads. I did a bunch of yard work, got a ton of bug bites, drank some beer and I'm reading this political tome.