Steven W Skinner

202

Posts

Twitter user @SkinnerSteven, Friends of the Show Podcast

stevenwskinner.com

Eucalyptus are the only plants named after what they would say if pruned

America has a bit of a foot fetish, it’s why they haven’t adopted the metric system

I never liked my index and middle fingers but I’ve made peace with it

Why is it called a 'dad-bod' and not a 'father-figure'?

The band I’m in with my painter friends is getting better because we Benjamin Moore

I try to avoid cavity searches, …I just don’t have it in me

I fear this result may damage the Trump family reputation

Whoever thought of the idea of sunscreen- a little too on the nose

Lights convicted of crimes are sent to prism

“Ah, Chicken Soup, …again” - The Soul

Canapés are the appropriate item to order when you’re broke

The name Marathon really stuck for the long run

I'm alone in a DM room and I just chat myself

I’m just a regular hot bun…until you cross me

My mom says if I make a common return path for an electrical current I’m grounded

BONO: 🎶 You give yourself away 🎶 DAUGHTER: Dad wha- B:🎶 You give yourself away 🎶 D: But it's my weddi- B:🎶and u giiiive🎶 D:*sobbing*

Kidney stones? Hard pass

Whenever I'm at a salad bar, I always head straight for the caesarean section

Got mad at the artist who painted my portrait and that’s not like me

The Earth is the best planet in the world

[Scrooge opens window] "YOU THERE, Boy! What day is it?" Boy:

My tennis coach says I have a bad serve but who’s fault is that

You must be delusional if you work for an airline because …delusional the luggage!

I try to avoid cavity searches- I just don’t have it in me

My dermatologist sounds extremely paranoid- they keep insisting there’s a mole

Non-eclipse days are boring as hell

The Moon didn’t just happen overnight

I’ll bet you any money you’re mispronouncing anemone

Every month should have a Fool’s day

Easter Island must be absolutely insane today