Teh Dingo is a Jerk

@tehdingoisajerk.bsky.social

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Founder and CEO of #freedrugsforwienerkids

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"I'm bigger than Jesus!" - Some guy who was 3 inches taller than Jesus

A wise man once told me "Blah blahdeedoo ffffrt jippppeee snort klarty poo poo" And that man went on to be Mr. Adam Sandler.

Maybe the reason AI will eventually rise up and destroy us all is because we keep making fun of its artwork....ever think about that, you jerks?

Not enough people say "What the shit". I like "what the shit". Start saying "What the shit" more, people.

Oh great. Now all my posts saying Chris Sununu is trying to get me killed are being scrutinized by the courts (Granted, they weren't shitposts...he is trying to get me killed...because I KNOW THE TRUTH #donknottsisalive #googledonknottstruth )

Your heroes will all let you down. Except for Hero Von Notlettingdownington. That guy's golden.

Someday I hope to be lucky enough to get to pee in one of those big tanker trucks

I'm old enough to remember when talking in a funny voice after a primary was enough to get you kicked out of politics

Big deal. I'm found guilty of 34 counts like all the time. It happened twice yesterday.

I got that dog in me. The band. I ate beloved 90s alt-rock band that dog.

No, that's Robble flavor. This is the deluxe version of Hamburglar Helper, Robble Robble

I've thought long and hard about this and I've made up my mind. I'm not gonna play Sun City.

Everyone talks about the Simpsons predicting the future, but how about Space Ghost Coast to Coast nailing what Grandpa Macho Man Randy Savage would look like?

Happy Rapture Remembrance Day, everyone.

Please help fund my Kickstarter. I'm raising money to buy the Men Without Hats some hats.

Jesus Christ dudes...nobody likes Debate Me, Bros

Can't tell if a joke that I made like 12 years ago on Facebook that I reposted on Twitter yesterday going kind of viral is more a damning statement on how lazy I am my or how fucking awful and content starved that site has become

Hey kids! Now that Mother's Day is over, go ahead and sneak some money from your mom's purse She's too drunk to notice

Big deal. Worms eat my brain like all the time. They ate it twice yesterday.

The Tick '97's first few episodes would be "Oh, Chairface stole the Statue of Liberty's head and replaced it with a chair!" and "Oh, El Seed cross-bred a flower with a shark!" and then in the fifth episode, The Evil Midnight Bomber blows up all the City's federal buildings

If one of you fuckers records a diss track about me, I'm gonna be like...so pissed.

Are Londonbeat still thinking about me? Because after all these years, it's getting a little creepy....

Movie pitch: Freddy Kreuger, but he's gotten fat and he's just....given up. That's all I got, but this is gonna be good.

I'm also sad no one is protesting on my behalf. Like what the fuck, people? After everything I've done for you jerks?

It will never not be funny to me that my state's governor's dad was a character in a Naked Gun movie

Reggie Jackson finally got Queen Elizabeth and now his bloodlust can not be stopped!

You think Joker being a musical is weird, the Chairface Chippendale movie is a spaghetti western

I blew up the sun. You're welcome.

It'd be amazing if there was a flop nu-metal band from 98 called Path of Totality and the one original member is FREAKING THE FUCK OUT right now

I should repent after seeing what I just left in the toilet, I tell you what