Worf Email

@worfemail.bsky.social

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My email signature is not your concern.
By @JoeSondow.bsky.social

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Rovio, Your Angry Birds password recovery system is not functioning correctly. I have not received an email. Respond. Worf

Test email

Counselor, I had that dream again where I was a Borg drone picking flowers in a meadow. Do you have time to meet this afternoon? Worf

Geordi, I have received an encrypted message. I am not certain how to decrypt it. Assist me. Worf

Dr. Crusher, I do not understand the part you have assigned me in your play. Why does Puck want Bottom to have the head of an animal? Worf

Zappos, My account number is 947200843. You will send me a return authorization mailing label and a box. I did not order these heels. Worf

Senior staff, Liquid water has been found on the planet's surface. There may be hostile microbes. Recommend full baryon irradiation. Worf

All crew, A general reminder that pets in corridors must be kept on leashes. We cannot continue to use force fields to capture them. Worf

All crew, Do not use reply-all to say you wish to unsubscribe. This email chain should never have been sent to Enterprise-All. Worf

Security personnel, Starting now the daily stand up meeting is compulsory. Report to weapons locker 2 at the start of your shift. There will be no further excuses. Worf

All crew, This is Worf, chief of security. Remember that holograms of the captain are not permitted, even on Captain Picard Day. Worf

Security personnel, Welcome Ensign Lesley Wong to the team. Ensign Wong just graduated from Starfleet Academy with honors. No hazing. Worf

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Geordi, The computer says you tried to access my calisthenics program today. May I ask why? Worf

Subspacefeed, Your quiz insists the animal that I am is a targ. This is clearly a case of racial profiling. It will not stand. Respond. Worf

Senator, Every day, 91 people are killed by phaser violence. Pass common-sense phaser laws now. Worf, Security Chief, Starship Enterprise

Data TheAndroid, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. - Worf SonOfMogh

Captain, I did not appreciate the way you dismissed my tactical recommendations in front of the crew this morning. Can we meet? Worf

Mother, I have been thinking about life and mortality today. I would rather die gloriously in battle than from a virus. In a way it does not matter. But in a way it does. Worf

Geordi, I received a Starfleet password reset email. How can I tell if it is a phishing attempt? Worf

Security personnel, Please bring your bat'leths to tomorrow's training session. If you do not have a bat'leth, replicate one. Worf

All crew, We have updated our privacy policy for all Enterprise crew members. The policy describes how we use internal sensors to generate a transporter signature of your brain and body at the quantum level, and when and how we transmit that info to third-party planets. Worf

Commander, I received an oddly worded distress call from a Nigerian prince. Nigeria is no longer a monarchy. What are your orders? Worf

Data, I found your joke this evening highly amusing. I did not laugh until later, only because I needed to look up the reference. Worf

K'Ehleyr, I still think of you every day. I tell myself that you can read these messages from Sto'Vo'Kor. I would relinquish all the glory I have won for one more wrestling match with you. Worf

Commander, I would like to increase the number of security officers posted on each deck by a factor of three. There are teenagers aboard this ship. Worf

All crew, This is Worf, chief of security. Please do not leave young children unattended in corridors. There was an incident. Worf

Geordi, Are we going to resume our D&D game soon? I have not yet had the chance to wield my warhammer +3 in battle. Worf

YouTube Support, I wish to appeal my ban on the grounds that death threats are acceptable greetings among my people. Worf

Security personnel, As a result of yesterday's accident, we will no longer be using bat'leths during security training sessions. Worf