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An umpire who declares himself the winner of the ball game
“I’m just a simple umpire, calling balls and strikes as I see them, and every now and then rewriting basic rules of the game with no reason”
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possibly incinerates a player occasionally just for the lulz.
A dog can’t play basketball while a dog keeps dunking on us
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This is so fucking funny because that’s exactly what Angel Hernandez did for his entire career. It’s like the analogy was always bad because umpires always made it about them and what they think.