Wait, I'm sorry, so the story is that the ship hit the bridge because of diversity, and if cops had been there they could have stopped the ship hitting the bridge, but they were defunded, and also the bridge got hit because it was woke?
You forgot about Sydney Sweeney. I'm not sure how she factors in, but it makes as much sense as all the other fake culture war nonsense they're spouting, so may as well include her too.
They used to have billboards mounted on the side of the bridge centered between the two support posts with Sweeney on them in a cleavage-revealing photo, so her woke-killing boobs naturally would steer the gaze and boat of any captain towards them and away from the posts.
