austin, a person

@austinaperson.bsky.social

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it's not you; it's i

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Trump/Vance 2024

Your honor, with all due respect, all I wanna do is [BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!] and take your money

Your honor, with all due respect, I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint; I do not feel ashamed

4yo: I had a dream you were getting dead Me: you had a dream I was dying? 4yo: yes Me: well that sounds like a scary dream 4yo: It was a nice dream. [eats a bite of coco puffs and sighs contentedly] A nice dream.

Happy fatherbloomsday to my fellow nerds

Mom: let’s go baby, it’s time to brush teeth. 4yo: I want you to be a horsey! Mom, 15 feet of horsey ride later: phew. Here we are. Did you like the horsey ride? 4yo: why were you not galloping

Everyone’s a death penalty abolitionist until the person sitting next to you on the subway starts clipping their nails

Everyone’s a death penalty abolitionist until their neighbor across the street starts up the leaf blower at 8am

My ride is here

You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me (@joshuaerlich.bsky.social)

You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

A vendor reveal party where you open and evaluate the competing bids you’ve received

A Mendel reveal party where you invite guests to check out the heritable traits in your peas

If you see this post a book you’ve read more than once (why this of all options sprang to mind…?)

if you see this post a book you've read more than once

Date yourself with a store that doesn't exist anymore: there is exactly one ChiChi's left on the planet, and it is in Austria. I was in LOVE with the one by us in NYC when I was like 8.

End of feed.