Michael Baumann

@baumann.bsky.social

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FanGraphs Writer, Piney, Gamecock, Condiment Enthusiast
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My only thought about the "hawk tuah" girl is that the standardized onomatopoeia for spitting up a loogie was "ptooey" since the days of, like, Mark Twain and this young woman changed the language overnight

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Michael Baumann

the olympics should have an IROC-style motorsports event

Passing through Carneys Point on a drive home from Columbus, big ups to Johnny Gaudreau

Today's Wheelysports: On how Eddy Merckx is Babe Ruth, why I'm glad Mark Cavendish won stage no. 35 before he killed himself trying, and whether Remco can grab the yellow jersey tomorrow open.substack.com/pub/wheelysp...

Eating the Cannibalopen.substack.com Mark Cavendish can finally rest, plus a preview of the first time trial of the Tour de France

You have to hate lots of things to reflect the values of A&M, not just losing

Making jambalaya for a big group dinner and only talking like Joseph Sisko for the rest of the night

There's something liberating about knowing that the fate of our country, and perhaps the planet, depends on the imagination and courage of the people who decided the Weekend With Field Marshal Pétain playbook was the way to go in an election with this much downside

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Michael Baumann

I strongly believe that the Trump era ushered in a truly horrific era of general ethical backsliding and nihilism in the US across all fronts, one that we still can’t even entirely wrap our brains around. (And Trump’s grotesquely evil approach to Covid made it even worse).

one more thing I’ll say is this also feels tied to the loss of consequences & loss of the importance of ‘reputation’. Politics have devolved so much, & this is now impacting the corporate world. Anyone that faked caring about ethics for their reputation feels like that shit doesn’t matter anymore

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Michael Baumann

Today's Wheelysports is the big tamale: The Tour de France general classification preview open.substack.com/pub/wheelysp...

A Dilettante's Guide to the Tour de France, Part 2open.substack.com So who can win the yellow jersey?

Today's Wheelysports is the big tamale: The Tour de France general classification preview open.substack.com/pub/wheelysp...

A Dilettante's Guide to the Tour de France, Part 2open.substack.com So who can win the yellow jersey?

The Tour de France starts this weekend, so I'm previewing the race in a way that's hopefully legible to people who don't follow cycling. Today's post is about the green jersey competition--how it works and how it's won. wheelysports.substack.com/p/a-dilettan...

A Dilettante's Guide to the 2024 Tour de France, Part 1wheelysports.substack.com Previewing the green jersey competition and the other races within the race

Underneath Bailey's post mocking Super 70s joining Outkick, there is exactly one person brave enough to swim against the current and defend the account everyone is sick of

Starting the back half of the Bridgerton season, in which Penelope figures out how to let her fiancé in on a most shameful secret: She is a *journalist*

Woke up with a sore throat on a day where I have seven interviews, this is gonna be me by the end of the afternoon

Guys all the night sports are happening while it's broad daylight where I am and it's freaking me out. I don't like it.

When I'm in Phoenix for work I stay at a hotel whose decor is "have a giant woman watch you while you sleep" (Last year on the left, this year on the right)

The Tour de France starts in 2 1/2 weeks, and I'm finally ready to get optimistic about an American rider again

Okay, Let's Be Real: Can Matteo Jorgenson Win the Tour de France?wheelysports.substack.com I'm serious.

Sick and tired of Twitter spamming me with ads for repulsive right-wing organizations

Briefly lost a half-gallon jug of Wawa iced tea somewhere in my home. It's OK I found it eventually

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Michael Baumann

it is a wild week for sports being played in unfamiliar countries, with cricket in the United States, baseball in the United Kingdom, and Stanley Cup Final hockey in Canada

We're heading for a Phillies-Yankees World Series, domestic politics are dominated by the uncontested lies of a right-wing demagogue, America is lending military support to a dictator in Asia, 1950 is so back

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Michael Baumann

“By banning players for betting on baseball, MLB is not contradicting its own position on gambling — it’s merely enforcing a boundary that’s necessary to protect the welfare of the sport and its players.” @baumann.bsky.social on baseball’s latest gambling scandal:

This Is How It Has to Workblogs.fangraphs.com There are two big red-letter no-nos if you work for MLB or a team: You can’t bet on baseball, and you can’t wager with unlicensed bookmakers.

Turned in my draft combine interview shopping list and discovered that my professionalism ends at using my interview with PJ Morlando to convince him to go to college

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Michael Baumann

My unpopular opinion is that if the top of a vehicle's grille/end of the hood is taller than 4 feet, you should be required to maintain a CDL (WITH regular driving tests) to be allowed to drive it

A fun tidbit I learned recently is that most pickup trucks are considered commercial vehicles under California state law. That being the case, my modest proposal is that we require special licensing to operate them.

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Michael Baumann

At some point Democratic elected officials will notice that when Donald Trump has a personal setback the majority of the population literally celebrates in the street, I hope.

I guess worst-case scenario we're in for a really interesting 6-3 Supreme Court decision in a few months

Kate: Why are you making that face? Me:

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Michael Baumann

Reply to

Brian Phillips

what if I told you that instead of finding words for your ideas, you could have a server farm in Belarus dip a ladle into a pre-digested slurry of words other people have already found for different ideas. would you want to be a writer then

Found the funniest container for my leftover sausages

They don't want the kids to realize Kermit would've been better off if he'd ditched Miss Piggy and taken up with Jenny, Pete the diner owner's daughter

The one Disney doesn’t own for reasons that escape me. RIP Dabney Coleman