children of the corncob

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children of the corncob

@bisk.sureis.sexy

*pssst* there are probably jokes in the alt text
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just spent 5 minutes talking about william riker's dick and how he keeps sticking it in weird places but my partner is telling me to shut the fuck up.
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if anyone has a mazda mx-5 (90s era) come to my house and we'll go fuck up a tesco carpark (and your car)
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doing doughnuts is the adult version of spinning yourself too fast on a playground roundabout.
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this is very fun and if you've never done it you should give it a go.
but you're british so your car is front wheel drive so you've gotta put some cooking trays under the rear wheels and put the handbrake on. it makes cool sparks though.
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Make a band meatier: princes.
Make a band meatier: KFC: also known as the Justified Ancients of MUMU, furthermore known as the Spams.
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Make a band meatier: pancetta! at the disco.
Make a band meatier: KFC: also known as the Justified Ancients of MUMU, furthermore known as the Spams.
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i think my brain and body are conspiring against me.
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i know it's unfair to say and it's not his fault but wes streeting has a weird face.
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i need to catch up on the world rally championship. despite doing a half season i bet kalle rovanpera is still bossing it.
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might catch my foot on a cable then headbutt a door. just to liven things up.
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i hate those moments of paralysis. like you know you should do this or that or the other thing but you think about it and just freeze. kinda shit.
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one time a 2000w spotlight lamp died during a show and i needed to change it so i licked my fingers to unscrew it and the thing just exploded and sprayed molten metal onto my trousers. don't lick lamps.
don't lick the sodium lamp. very hot.
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i haven't even got the tv but i am currently thinking about the positioning of joists in my ceiling.
if i get this bastard and it's actually just a skill issue i might mount it on the bedroom ceiling on one of those hinges where you can flip it down if you're sitting up in bed.
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the miss has just found a 38" tv on facebook marketplace for free. apparently "the volume turns down every now and then." that sounds like the EU reg for high volume. absolutely normal. might be getting a perfectly fine and fully working tv for free.
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the miss been growing strawberries and we had a couple of tiny ones.
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"how are you so fucked up i only went out for 4 hours?!" "i ate a lot of cheese." "ah... okay."
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shit, someone just crashed their scooter.
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@lafeeverte.bsky.social @marvth3martian.bsky.social i'm sorry. i spent all day looking at squirrels and i just... i just couldn't. i didn't have the energy and i just couldn't find hannah and brad. you'll have to cope.
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"FUCK THIS NOISE." *glass smashes* *door slams* and for once it's not me. someone is pissed off.
wrong. wrong wrong wrong wrong. have a party over your house. don't set up a fucking drive in movie theatre.
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yeah okay it's too fucking loud. people need to shut up about the football. just like 20 fucking kids screaming in the streets. jesus christ if i kicked off this much about an EVO street fighter tournament i would be arrested and thrown in jail.
The pub cheered or something.. we scored?
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the miss wanted to do basil this year. so she planted a bunch and they spent most their life on window ledges around the house and they're out and they look great.... she is now doing more. what the fuck do we do with this much basil?
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THREE PIGEONS! I'VE GOT THREE PIGEONS IN MY GARDEN! i thought i only had 2. i think i've got a thruple going on.
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......... something in the kitchen just made a very loud click that i don't know what it is and now i am concerned.
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if i HAVE to do favourite it'd be: "is this testing whether i'm a replicant or a lesbian, mr. deckard?" that scene is so good. makes me want a cigarette so bad.
tell me your fav film with a quote.