Guy Kelly

@brainmage.bsky.social

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Comedian/writer/voice artist/wizard. #ADHD (he/him)
Fine art photos: http://hyperfocus.photography
Stream: http://Twitch.tv/brainmage
Tips: http://ko-fi.com/guy

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Have any of you lot done any forum theatre/delivered workplace training? I've got something that I think would be a genuinely useful tool for teaching about disability/the medical v social model, and I'd love to make some connections/completely change my career to deliver it.

God. Its so hot in London that i genuinely think you could put an egg on the pavement.

Used to be you could stir-fry rice and it would go all over the stove because the sides of the pan were too shallow. Can't anymore. Because of wok.

Me: Hang on, let me just check on my step count Dracula: Fuck you you're not my real dad

I stuck the lens from a disposable camera into the body cap of my digital camera, and all the photos it takes have a weird, haunted quality that I absolutely love. ...I should put this for sale on hyperfocus.photography, really

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I spent far too long on this

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The Ravenbird's not leaving And everybody's grieving It flew down to my study, I said 'not now please, buddy' It landed on my titan It spoke, which made me frightened It's not the chattiest bird It only knows the one word

Hey hey, you you, I don't like this raven, hey hey, you you I think it knows a secret, hey hey, you you, I've got as bust of Pallas

SomeBIRDY once told me When I was feeling lonely And crying over my girl Lenooore It just would not fly away From my study's stone doorway And it said to me one word; 'nevermore'.

Oh god though. Imagine being a flintstones and getting an appliance that's really into it. Like, everyone else's vacuum beast is all "it's a living" and yours is just snuffling about the place going "yes daddy more, more"

Episode 93 of I Don't Like Mondays is out now! If you listen to this, pause it when you get to 56 minutes in and try and guess what the next 20 minutes will be about. I'll give you a clue: it is an idea that might genuinely have changed our lives: soundcloud.com/idlmpodcast/...

Episode 93: In which Guy and Cat make a decisionsoundcloud.com Ohhhhhh yeah. Are YOU the king of the swingers? Good for you. None of my business. In this episode we discuss passive-aggressive Bop-Its, enjoy a round of American Thesaurus Quiz, Cat attempts a cryp

"Man. I wish I could get my prostate massaged right about now" *finger on monkey's paw curls*

Naked tit model swapped for prince's wife (4,9)

In the spirit of The Secret etc, I have decided to manifest that I Deserve A Little Treat ko-fi.com/guy

Support Guy Kelly on Ko-fi! ❤️ko-fi.com Ko-fi lets you support my nonsense, help gussy up my streaming setup, or commission a Shrek 2 Collectable Trading Card tarot reading. It's a one-stop shop for profoundly strange decisions.

So... is there a croque... madame? Oh. Oh there is. Oh my god I'm so sorry. I completely misread the vi- Oh. You guys swing? I'm listening...

Hello

[picture of two vast and trunkless legs of stone, shattered visage. Pedestal intentionally cropped out] omg who made this 😂😂😅

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Guy Kelly

It's been a year since I launched Hyperfocus Photography! Turns out I'm quite good at taking pictures! People across the world have bought them! Then twitter's reach got hobbled... If you would like to support a neurodivergent photographer, please do share x hyperfocus.photography

There was me, that is Jerry, and my three droogs, that is Elaine, Georgie, and Kramer, Kramer being really Kramer, and we sat in the Monk's Cafe making up rassoodocks what to do with the evening, a flip dark chill winter bastard though dry.

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Guy Kelly

Episode 91 of I Don't Like Mondays is out now! Hot dog wine! Bum cleaning! Cholera! A Kitten purrs directly into the mic! It's a Garfield podcast! Get it here, and on all podcast apps x soundcloud.com/idlmpodcast/...

Episode 91: Cholera Pump Rump Chumpssoundcloud.com Episode 91! Can you even imagine?! I don't need to, because I LIVED it. And you can too! Vicariously! With a dog collar and everything! In this episode we explore the logistsics of a new office cleani

Noisome is when you have group sex with fellas wearing their one-man-band kits

Episode 91 of I Don't Like Mondays is now available for patreon backers! Hot dog wine! Cholera! Office bum cleaning! Everything you could want from a Garfield podcast, without all the "Garfield" bumf! Not a backer? Search I Don't Like Mondays on your podcast app! www.patreon.com/posts/episod...

Episode 91: Cholera Pump Rump Chumps | IDLM Podcastwww.patreon.com Get more from IDLM Podcast on Patreon

I have recently taken to singing "Hangin' around in Oswestry" to the tune of "Rockin' around the Christmas tree". Exactly why my brain has decided to earworm me with notions of being at a loose end in a Shropshire town, I'm not sure, but by god it won't let me stop.

Today's lunchtime cryptic crossword stream starts at 1pm! What a time to be alive! A crossword! That you don't have to solve! I mean, technically that's all crosswords, but you know what I mean. Twitch.tv/brainmage

brainmage - Twitchtwitch.tv Guy Kelly. Comedian, voice actor, and general nerd. UK-based variety streamer. Cryptic crosswords during the day, and videogames at night. Like a LAN café in an old folks home. guykellyalloneword@gmai...

Going to stream my lunchtime cryptic crossword at 2115 today! That's in ten minutes! Definitely lunchtime! Twitch.tv/brainmage

We've not released a new episode today because time got away from us, so why not listen to last week's episode of I Don't Like Mondays and find out whether being a Dracula is a protected characteristic! on.soundcloud.com/XtL8oKdg7qcH...

Episode 90: Is being a Dracula a protected characteristic?on.soundcloud.com We have faced parents, food poisoning, and a trip to Sheen, and we've lived to tell the tale. It's another episode of a very sensible Garfield podcast, and once again we urge our listeners to sieze th

I'll check out the funk soul brother in my own time, thank you very much

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"Et les grosses têtes géantes, elles envoyaient des messages, non? Les grosses têtes géantes. Elles envoyaient, elles envoyaient leurs messages, leurs messa- parceque les têtes étaient géantes n’est ce pas? Grosses et gigantesques...” - French Stewart Lee

Today's lunchtime cryptic crossword stream starts at 1pm! What a thrill! Crosswords! That you can watch!! Can you imagine?!? Twitch.tv/brainmage