our cat died a few months ago, and the strangest thing about dealing with death is that it doesn’t even feel like our cat stopped existing but more like it still exists in the part of spacetime that’s unreachable, like on a light cone diagram
same for humans honestly—my grandparents are probably still hanging out growing vegetables and watching bulls games in their patch of spacetime, I just can’t communicate with them anymore
I have dreams about departed pets every now and then and I realize the un-reality of the situation. Yet at the same time it's like they've been there all along. I don't wake up, I don't feel regret at the time, until I segue to the next thing per usual. I do wake up a bit confused.
When we lost Frank X. Cat, I had so many dreams where Frank was there, yet I knew perfectly well that he couldn't be, so often there'd be some crazy explanation, like there had always been two of him.
The ... brief retroactive continuity ... was the jarring thing. But my dreams usually segue without warning while being sensible at the time and only upon waking are they confounding.
Miss that cat dearly.
This... actually hit hard, that's a really good description for what it feels like.
Even after 8 years I'm still feeling it. It doesn't feel like full denial, just... partial denial for peace of mind? It doesn't affect me nearly as much now, but it's still there, exactly how you described it.
I sometimes try to imagine existence as a four-dimensional blob. That is, it doesn't so much "end" but had boundaries from the very beginning. We just can't control its passing through the three-dimensional world of our present experience.
