I know where the “Say No To Doomerism!” is coming from, but I want folks to make sure they aren’t slipping into some toxic positivity remix.
Shock and sadness are among the reasonable responses to the situations we face.
And those feelings can exist with others, it’s not always either/or… 1/
Folks want to make sure others don’t get stuck in the despair of the moment. That the shock/sadness/fear don’t keep people from taking action. I get it.
But pushing too hard on the “if you feel this you are part of the problem/a tool of the oppressors” is unkind to those feeling real feelings… 2/
And tbh, I think some of the folks pushing back against the doomerism are talking to themselves, in that they are sharing a coping mechanism that works for them. Which is cool.
But don’t be judgy about it. Others might cope in different ways or different timeline. That doesn’t make them an opp 3/
I believe that in all our movement work, whatever brand, we should try to meet people where they are.. including emotionally.
I also believe that we are in a post-pandemic collective mental health crisis, in part due to not having time/space to grieve.
Keep these truths in mind! 4/
Just like we deserved Truth & Reconciliation commissions on COVID, we might need a space to reckon with the feelings of betrayal that the political moment brings.
Inside we are screaming like Tyra, “I believed in you!” to America, (even though we said we didn’t, because we knew the history…) 5/
I’m tired of hearing breezy versions of the ‘stages of grief’ that pretend there is always a sequence. Such certainty would be a balm.
But sad, scared people make change too!
Let’s speak from a place of caring that they feel that way, not only concern that they won’t do their part in the fight. 6/
For only the 847,694,537th time in my life, I look to Black activism and organizers for insight. Black hope and joy is a renewable resource that has fueled many struggles. But tbh, so has Black sorrow, anger and fear.
Ask Mamie Till…or anyone who was in the streets for George Floyd…7/
Also the pandemic isn't over. We're just collectively ignoring it. Which has already had a lot of people who were paying attention super depressed for years.
Hey Eb! (I followed you in the other place…)
And trust & believe I know COVID isn’t over. I struggle for language to describe what I mean.
I don’t write “post-COVID” just like I never write post-racism, but used “pandemic” as a formal thing that was declared and undeclared.
Not perfect, for sure.
Hey! That makes sense to me.
And I do really appreciate the larger point of this thread. As someone who has been dealing with increasing periods of hopelessness and despair over the last three and a half years, it's been rough to see "rational reaction to caring" framed as a betrayal.
Recently I've had several people effectively say to me "I'm really struggling and I feel like that's my failure" and when I remind them about the pandemic they're almost surprised. Grieving/being angry about huge life upheavals is really important, and that was/is one we're mostly just ignoring.
Your point about the pandemic is excellent. I personally lost a lot of trust in people I thought were allies but in practical terms I’m going to have to find away to get past that. I’m sure I’m not alone in that.
It is a real skill to usher people through times like this. I would compare it to the facilitators who run new mom groups, and to what I see some Black women do in their communities. I am so steeped in white supremacy that I cannot even identify what this skill is, but I know it when I see it. /1
A balance of acceptance and fight and getting people to use their individual strengths and also bringing other people around them to work together. And to grieve when those allies fall short. I am in awe of the women who are in command of this skill. I have never seen it from a man.
Bluntly, the fear of us “say no to doomerism” people is that people stuck in despair won’t be reliable allies when they’re actually needed. This is Captain Obvious stuff I am sure but it needs to be stated.
I saw you wrote this elsewhere, and responded there…
Here’s the thing, maybe fear in response to despair is not where any of us want/need to be.
Trust me when I tell you that I know reliable allies can be hard to come by. If I didn’t find heathy ways to cope with that truth, I wouldn’t be here.
If you think anyone needs a permission structure, you aren’t paying attention.
If you are not about knowing where folks are at so you can reach them, are you really about the work?
You just wanna stay on the Titanic, smug w/ the knowledge you didn’t suggest songs to the band.
Seen it all before.
I've noticed a lot of the "Say no to doomerism" people get very annoyed if you point out that they don't really have anything to offer right now other than "Don't worry, be happy!".
Not all of them only have that, but still a significant number.
I think those that respond that way might not want their own coping mechanisms disrupted, you know?
Sometimes it’s when you have the least to hold on to that you hold on the tightest.
And that's fine if that's how THEY cope, but when they've already started out by telling other people what to do - one of them recently declared doomerism to be hubris akin to declaring oneself god - then it becomes a bit of an issue.
I know that’s right!
Honestly, I’ve argued that we gotta remember that this collective mental health crisis is, for some, layered on top of a kinda crappy pre-existing personality.💁🏽♀️
I am very anti-doomer. I totally get venting, but a lot of stuff I see online doesn't come from a place of needing to vent, but rather positivity and looking on the bright side are seen as cringe. I don't know if we have the luxury of despair right now tbh.
I've had to do a lot of muting of folks assuming things about my situation 😮💨 but it's fine I do get it, and expected it to some extent. but I've gotta do what's right for me and my family
I am sorry that has been coming your way. And yeah, I get it (mostly), but…
…instead of the pushback, can we talk about what citizens supporting justice work from abroad could look like?
Being here does not mean you are in the fight. Being away doesn’t mean you’ve left the fight.
