luke: Let’s combine the Fourth of July, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas so we can nail someone to a tree and then blow them up. Then we open our presents before a nice family meal

Let’s combine the Fourth of July, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas so we can nail someone to a tree and then blow them up. Then we open our presents before a nice family meal

wait this is the purge, isn’t it

Hear me out: Jesus piñata that sets off fireworks when you hit it, containing small presents and savory treats.

Fish and wine lol

PERFECT.

I nominate Elon

This sounds like the plot to an Arnold Schwarzenegger film. Maybe, like, True Lies?

But with a Shirley Jackson-style lottery, right?

i volunteer to be that someone

I'm totally in if I can pick the someone. (I think you'll be fine with my list.) No, wait, no. It's too much power to entrust me with. Well, hell. Yeah, no, best we write this one off. But it was nice to dream for just a moment.

The Omni holiday

Some members of my family have a tradition where they wrap their Christmas tree in fireworks and burn/ explode it on New Year's Eve.

Lol

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