So hard to research the possibility of giving one's adolescent bovine silicone double Ds without running into sad sicko men who want to surgically "enhance" their lower legs.
Explaining the concept of a "manic pixie dream girl" to a rapidly angering group of kobolds. One of them is doing an aggressive jig to clear the air after the mere mention of pixies. Bringing up "(500) Days of Summer" was an unforced error on my part admittedly.
I would say the worst thing about my business partner is his habit of using a somewhat menacing tone when telling hotel housekeepers he has diplomatic immunity. The best thing about him is a tie between his winning smile and really rich dad.
I finally acknowledged my music career was not going to take off when Nardwuar knew nothing about me in our interview. He got several basic facts wrong, and cut the chat short to go chase down one of the woman from Las Ketchup.
Before 2004 "Malice at the Palace" most often referred to my great-uncle, a hateful little courtier, a known schemer and lout, who was a widely disliked figure in the court of Umberto I of Italy in the late 1800s.
"Looking at my cufflinks? Good eye, this one is the Decepticon logo, from Transformers, and this one is the Autobots, kind of depicts the duality of man if you will. So getting back to your package, it is less than 3 months pay, but we do believe there is legal basis for that."
While the Emir's video showing dozens of women with large derrières dancing while he repeatedly said "Damn right we a rump state" was very popular online, it is what historians argue emboldened the neighbouring empire to finish its conquest.
The Marquess I was serving as a garden hermit when I wrote "Sasha's Wolf Adventure" is suing for a portion of the film royalties. An unbecoming act for a gentleman of his stature. I lived up to all aspects of our contract, I specifically was allowed to write erotic literature.
Her ex was an itinerant type, a nomad, made his living with his hands. I sometimes fear she misses that sense of adventure, so I suggest we go for a leisure drive on an unpaved road. Turn the GPS off, roll the windows down, even though it's not as efficient as using the AC.
Radical age gap action group has been following around male celebrities with portable "mosquito alarms", similar to those used outside convenience stores.
My career as a Demon has never recovered from 2000, I had just read Naomi Klein's "No Logo" and inspired by its message started covering up my mark of the beast with a plain arm band. Word got around and I just wasn't promoted anymore. They don't like troublemakers, even in hell.
I have been told in no uncertain terms that if I refer to the captain of the boat, that has come to rescue us from the island, as a "blonde bombshell" even one more time, I will be left ashore. Even Randy, who never voted to eat me, not once, looks furious.
Just saw a solo singer-songwriter carrying a bandsaw, before Alanis blocked my number I would have for sure called her, material for a sequel tune isn't it? I guess I don't know the man was a singer-songwriter, could've been a thief. But the police have my number blocked as well.
Rushed over to the cafe by the fire station on my bike, because Ted said there was "some kind of Monk dude here". Fell and scraped my knee on the way. Guy looks nothing like Tony Shalhoub. Seems like some kind of spiritual fella or something, not a detective. Knee hurts bad.
Doing my British Tim Pool parody Tim Snooker in my SNL audition despite every single person in my life telling me “They wont know who that is, Lorne won’t know who that is.
Imagining Donald Trump over the centuries morphing into a Mari Lwyd type figure dressed up in a crudely framed talking heads Big Suit and tie and you go around to people's houses reciting "big strong men with tears in their eyes" and they give you candy to make you go away
I enjoy watching Collegiate football with my pal Will, who's a mountain goat boy (like a wolf boy, but raised by mountain goats). I marvel at the athletic talents of the players on the field, and Will, who can run a 4.31 forty, is amazed by the concept of tertiary education.
I led the crafts kids to form a mercantile guild and split from the Arts and Crafts Club at school as a child. "Profit through fellowship" was our motto. Younger guild members quickly grew to consider me weak and soon ousted me. I was allowed to rejoin the arts club, without juice box privileges.
The sport of bodysurfing has a comprehensive Wikipedia page that includes a list of bodysurfing greats. Not one of these greats has their own page. Truly a sport not ruined by professionalism. John Wayne is mentioned and does have a page, but it's focused on his other pursuits.
Overhead the neighbours discussing how I was "light in the loafers", I do feel I've looked less bloated since I started doing the steam room four times a week. Hopefully a nice lady or two will notice the same.
I spent countless months and easily $500k ensuring the picture of our candidate's roommate rubbing his hair, while they are both sitting on lawn chairs nude in the shower, that was captioned "Rogaine and Rogan tonight", did not see the light of day.
It's looking like Left-handed Men's Rights On The Left might split into at least two different groups over differing views on co-operation, are the natural allies for the group left-handed conservative MRAs, or right-handed leftist MRAs? I just hope we keep making a difference.
I was featured in the first sketches for Kash Coolidge's original "Poker Game", colloquially known as "Dogs playing poker". But I asked the old boy to exclude me, as I had promised the wife not to gamble and I was down quite a lot, the dogs could play.
Wife asked if I'm aware my monthly donation is not going to the Red Cross, but rather "The Red and Cross" an association of older angry British men. I wasn't but she framed the question in a way where I would have looked foolish admitting the truth, so I lied. She has such poor judgement.
Turns out a "maiden voyage" is not like a singles cruise, there are not necessarily any maidens at all. I was already questioning whether I brought too many condoms, I just feel ridiculous. Three weeks till we dock in Singapore.
While I'm glad the sport is getting more publicity, I truly believe the Netflix docudrama on professional petanque fucked me over in the edit. I never said getting LASIK was a sign of "weak character", and I was tricked into comparing myself to Nelson Mandela.
