competentposter

@competentposter.bsky.social

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Bringing my posts to the timeline in a creaking wooden cart. Four-time @Ppallo Home Run award winner. Ontario, Canada.

My art account: @ShrineAmbience
https://bsky.app/profile/shrineambience.bsky.social
https://linktr.ee/shrineambience

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(At the grand reveal of the marble Kirby fountain I had commissioned at the centre of my gardens) We spared no expense, sir. (hands clasped behind my back, remembering the summer banquet, destrier war horse, and 32 cannons still outstanding on the budget) You could have spared some expense

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competentposter

An Oral History of the Morning JLP Tweeted "U rockin with toilet?" LeBron: I was with my trainer when my phone started blowing up. I mean. You knew it was something crazy right away. Mark Ruffalo: Wow.

they got the whole village waiting on that fateful day when a hero shall arise🤦‍♂️😭

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competentposter

Wouldbe is such a beautiful name for an assassin

(Nervously watching my coffee getting closer and closer to room temperature) I should drink this now, it's getting pretty cold. (Guy about to invent ice coffee, unwavering) Colder.

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competentposter

we have to be strong for our cats

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competentposter

Scooting my lawn chair back a bit from an erupting volcano

we're taking turns cupping our hands and scooping him up

#birdbot

We have to set aside our differences, and focus on the real enemy: the entire rest of the world.

My job in america's Civil War 2 will be shoveling in bomb craters along a Ho Chi Minh style trail in southern Manitoba

the Kendrick and Drake beef has gone too far

I didn't know he was sick

Funding a rebellion is a matter of scale. For instance, I can keep a battalion of mice in the field with a few loaves of bread, and a container of birdshot for their cannons.

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competentposter

You are invited to my glowing cavern

Biden and Trump force ghosts smiling at us while we dance with ewoks

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competentposter

Doing stuff is the best revenge

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competentposter

drinking from the hose with a fork and knife

(Data) Where is my hug? (Me) no, see (moving his arms) you have to hold them out like this. (Data) Where is my hug? (Me) That's perfect. Now go get'em, tiger. (Riker, hiding a cheeky smile behind his glass)

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competentposter

you feed a dorito to a peasant in the 1300s, he's unimpressed. i sent my time machine back 50 years earlier and cornered the medieval snack market

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competentposter

I don't agree with "different strokes for different folks". There should be one stroke for everybody

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competentposter

I'm thinking of becoming more crumbly.

Everyone's fine with wasting electricity when it's put towards the futile effort to re-elect Biden, but will try to shut me down for keeping alive the Great Brain, who's throbbing lobes pulse at the heart of this facility. Psyonically tap in, homie. Don't be such a wet blanket.

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competentposter

falling asleep to the hum of the Great Device

Someone else has to apply Biden's various creams today, my shoulder is getting sore.

Elon's abomination flies in the face of the american working class and the filth they haul for us.

Elon musk should have understood the tough, daily demands the average pick up truck owner needs out of their vehicle.

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competentposter

this is a bit embarrassing but i'm actually soil now. stop by anytime i can give you a tour of my pore space, introduce you to some millipedes. yep once you've reached the leaf litter just keep heading down

(Doing a ventriloquist routine with the Bluesky Dev puppet I made out of stuff from my recycle bin) "Bluesky now has fully featured group chats!" "Heart react all your friends GM posts in Bluesky group chats!" (Reattaching the bottle cap eye that came unglued) "Chat with up to 50 friends at a time!"

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competentposter

non-mutual seeing a retweet then deciding to enter the shop and peruse for a minute