A thing I like about Sesame Street is that adults are positively and proactively involved in the lives even of kids they're not related to. This is cool and should be normal--being good to kids and helping them grow up should be a whole society's responsibility.
IRL, so many people would treat it as sus if a dude like Alan helped host a campout for a group of kids and adults; but actually it's lovely and maybe we should normalize adults being kind to and engaged with kids.
We should teach both kids and adults what constitute healthy interactions in this context and what to look out for; but the broad concept of a supportive relationship between a child and an unrelated adult should not in and of itself be taboo.
I suspect the nuclearizing of child rearing (possibly as a result or consequence of the Stranger Danger moral panic of the 80s) has created generations who don’t know what healthy vs unhealthy interactions actually look like so everything feels like it could be weird.
I think it's very convenient that generations of girls are raised to be afraid of stranger (which, fine better safe than sorry) when the real danger to data is men known to them mostly in positions of power
Yeah it’s a whole genre at this point. And don’t get me wrong, creeps exist for sure! But there a lot of ways the simple act of looking can be misunderstood.
Creeps really do exist. I've been followed around the gym before. I've been leered at, had my butt slapped, etc... a glance isn't creepy. Even watching someone lift isn't always creepy.
I’m an (undiagnosed but cmon) autistic artist and sometimes I get hyper focused on how, for example, fabric bunches around a joint
I never want to make anyone uncomfortable, I hate myself when I do. Point is, intent should matter!
Also I’m really sorry you had those experiences!
I feel too, like it's rare now to even see the sort of older adult being active with younger adults as a positive thing, even though it's the core of good mentorship. I've been blessed as an artist to have a lot of positive experiences and direction come from my artist elders.
But yeah, like, people talk about the whole "it takes a village" sometimes without realizing that such child raising would look exactly like Sesame street.
Yeah. I feel like we've kind of thrown the baby out with the bathwater when it comes to discouraging potentially imbalanced not-romantic-or-sexual relationships. Mentorship is great! Intergenerational friendship is great!
Also means they have more people to reach out to for help if the abusive relationships are with people with cultural or legal authority over them. Kids can't save other kids from abusive parents, but family friends and other family members can.
You know, this is one reason I haven't worried as much about my AuDHD's kiddo's socializing because she doesn't care what anyone's age is, she just likes interesting people. And she has a wide array of adults in her life to relate to & be supported by along with kid interactions.
She is exceptionally open and kind to other kids of all ages and backgrounds. I've had so many parents come up to me at the park about this, that they can't believe she'll play with their much younger or also special needs child and that always breaks my heart.
Because I've worked in and around convention scenes and now in and around university level academia, I keep gaining new friends who are younger than myself, and I like to think I enrich their lives, but hey, they also enrich mine!
If for no other reason than they keep me aware of myself as a younger human, it is so valuable. But even outside of that, more friends is good, actually, for everyone. Support networks are net positive up and down the ladder.
A cpl of young girls used to live in my neighborhood. They would ride by my house & ask me questions about my hair, my dog, etc. One started coming by alone at times & would hang out with my dog & chat at me. Home life wasn't great (not abusive, just not ideal) I gathered.
She mentioned that she really liked coming over because my place was quiet & "janky" like hers. (We were out in the yard, not in the house). She eventually moved away. I think about how she's doing a lot & am glad I chose to spend that time with her.
I have so many unrelated kids in my life at this point. I'm convinced it's the reason I never became a parent. Somehow, I must have known there would be lots of kids who would want or need another adult to support them.
