Joel Morris

@gralefrit.bsky.social

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Writer & highwayman.
Representation: United Agents (TV, film, radio, games) Johnson & Alcock (books)
Podcast: Comfort Blanket
https://pod.link/1614879928
Blog: https://joelmorris.substack.com
Instagram: @gralefrit
Music: https://candidateband.bandcamp.com/

Posts Replies Media

Fans of Peter Jackson’s Get Back will enjoy this vintage Marty Feldman documentary about comedy, which explores, amongst other things, where Peter Sellers went immediately after his excruciating cameo in the Beatles doc (to film his bits in this). https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0020zvs

One Pair of Eyes - Marty Feldman: No, But Seriously...www.bbc.co.uk Marty Feldman explores humour through the people who create it.

Waiting to see who gets the plum jobs of Minister Of Sound, Temporary Secretary (12” mix) and Witchfinder General

Looking at the surprise expert appointments, and hoping it’s a good sign. I suppose it’s harder to simply employ clueless but clubbable numpties to sort things out if you didn’t go to school with them. Have to cast the net wider.

Channel Four News’ closing montage of the last 14 years of glorious Tory achievement is exactly why I’m finding it easier than I maybe expected to feel positive about the result. It was like a sort of rotary club You’ve Been Framed or the titles for a shit online sitcom about a pissed town council.

Still find it weird that we have a king, and mentally filed the ritual transfer of power earlier on as a meeting between Sir Keir Starmer and Sir Prince Charles. #LookAroundYou

Farage promising to purge his party of “bad apples”, referring to the gaffes and secret filming. But isn’t that their USP? That they welcome the people who “tell it like it is” and act as a valve for public anger by expressing stuff that crosses a line. Without those guys, they’re just More Tories.

Considering it, my favourite line of the night was probably @cooraysmith.bsky.social describing Penny Mordaunt as looking like “Catherine Deneuve, if she worked in a big M&S.”

The important takeaway from last night is that I really like the BBC’s colourful unfolded isometric boxes Election ‘24 logo.

ACTIVATE THE LANGDON MACHINE. (Have I Got News For You office goes into scramble mode.)

Commentator: “Where do you think Starmer is going to arrive at Number Ten from?”

News crews all poised to see Starmer’s first splash page in the Prime Minister costume.

Things Can Only Get Better is the wrong vibe for this moment, so Starmer is going to come on to the podium to the sound of Brian Cox explaining the inevitable heat death of the universe.

Right, time to make some proposals. 1) Yes, National Service. But it’s an Art Foundation Course.

Waiting for Starmer to arrive at the palace gates in the ceremonial Prime Ministerial vehicle, which since 2017 has been the Panthermobile from the titles of the Pink Panther Show.

Sadly the Portillo moment the nation needed was Johnson being hurled into the sun, but the buggers have been in so long that whole generations of Tories have been born since then. No consequences, yet again. Could we arrange for him to watch his book being pulped on publication or something?

Orwell said that the essence of the national character was hypocrisy, and it’s never more on display than those speeches that PMs make outside No 10, coming in and going out. Describing core virtues and achievements that, if they were true, would have made the election completely different.

BBC misses chance to send Damian Grammaticus to interview Thangam Debonnaire. This country.

Racket outside. Can’t help noticing that the bins get picked up early under a Labour government. And… yes… that is Sir Keir himself riding the back of the lorry. Good start, guys.

Independent candidate in Brighton Kemptown with 1 vote! Closest to a Kevin Phillips Bong moment so far. Still waiting.

Starmer talks a lot about how he’s “changed” the Labour Party and turned round public and media perception, but the bigger achievement is surely the reinvention of “Lord Buckethead” as “Count Binface.” Jonathan Harvey has really smashed this one. Change for Britain.

Of all the channels, CBeebies’ coverage has been miles ahead tonight. Iggle Piggle has been a solid anchor, Duggee a good foil, and there have been some great insights from Sarah and, even more so, Duck.

Swindon’s count microphone has been mixed by the ghost of Steve Albini. Clipping and fuzzing like a Breeders chorus.

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Joel Morris

Everyone’s saying it’s weird that Rees-Mogg has a picture of Thatcher and Churchill in his study. But he’s actually in his car.

The standard Tory defence seems to be “this isn’t a vote for Labour, but proof that I and everyone in my party is a hateful turd whom ordinary Britons in huge numbers have decided to kick up the arse” and just owning that. Those public schools really toughen you up to not need love, don’t they?

Jacob Rees Mogg had what seemed to be a “power socket” under his Thatcher portrait and spinnet, but it’s actually a way of moving phlogiston to his praxinoscope, a feature of his Chrono-cycle, a contraption which he will use later to travel back in time and stop the Reform Act.

HOW CAN THIS POTENTIAL LABOUR LANDSLIDE BE REPRESENTED BY TORIES ON EVERY CHANNEL DISCUSSING THE TORY PARTY STILL? I want to not have to think about them or their born-to-rule club for ONE fucking minute, thanks.

Looking forward to Luton returning…

Remember the exit poll is only an estimate, and the Tories might get nought. Putting some fizz on to chill just in case.

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Joel Morris

Through my childhood, on election nights, my dad was the man under Peter Snow’s desk putting interesting facts on notecards into his socks. That’s how it was done before Google, kids. You got a very clever ASD man with some Oxford degrees to just remember interesting constituency histories.

Channel 4 news’ election coverage studio currently has more right wingers in it than are going to be in the House of Commons. They should celebrate that exit poll by telling them all to shut up. Just Harriet Harman and Alistair Campbell allowed to carry on speaking. The twenty-seven others, hush.