Keli

@keli.bsky.social

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I put "heavy whipping cream" in my coffee today and the sun shines a little brighter now, I'm smiling at strangers, I'm patting loose dogs on the head, i am saying YES to all requests, I am vibrating at speeds untrackable and slipping my liquid form under a doorway to do my most notorious crimes

maybe don't leave the house to eat hot dogs for a while

Recall: More than 6,900 pounds of hot dogs made without inspectionwww.journal-news.com A recall has been issued for about 6,900 pounds of hot dogs made by AW Farms because they were made without the benefit of federal inspection, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Food Sa...

if you only know that JD Vance exploited the traumas of his entire family and hometown for power and money but don't know much about Appalachian politics, let me direct you to the Trillbilly Worker's Party (and yes, one of them is my cousin)

‎Trillbilly Worker's Party on Apple Podcastspodcasts.apple.com ‎Comedy · 2024

capping rent increases is a good start

Biden to call for 5% cap on annual rent increases, as he tries to show plans to tame inflationapnews.com President Joe Biden is ready to propose a 5% cap on annual rent increases for tenants of major landlords.

my future is bright

being herded into the undesirable invalids section of the Great Lakes Camps under the smiling visage of president jd vance's smushed garbage pail kids' face :)

I bet Rob Portman is pissed though lol

uggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh NO

idk the "cave" looks like a sinkhole to me

Scientists have confirmed a cave on the moon that could be used to shelter future explorersapnews.com Scientists have confirmed a cave on the moon, not far from where Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed 55 years ago.

full of curiosity but not looking up a damn thing bc I do not want to fuck with the algorithm I love psyops

Saturday Night Midnight Snack

my former doctor's nephew tried to step in and prevent an elderly couple from being assaulted by a drunk guy who is the son of a local weatherman and grandson of the former sheriff of the county and also the nephew used to be a MLB player for the Red Sox and yes this all sounds like a fever dream

the best comedy right now is not on here but an old forum where one of the trending threads is "Stop Telling Ugly People They Are Beautiful" and only gets richer and more insightful with this latest event

Dr Ruth, Richard Simmons, and -- oh darn

zap zap zap zapruder2024

I would have loved to see it. There's still time for someone else to do it and bring a smile to my face.

I try not to buy clothing with synthetics in it but even trying to buy things made with cotton has its own ethical dilemmas and sometimes I kinda just have to give up. I do not have the mental fortitude to know every detail of everything I use. Let a rich person fix this for us. lol

26 million tons of clothing end up in China's landfills each year, propelled by fast fashionapnews.com The world’s largest textile producer and consumer throws away 26 million tons of clothes each year, mostly made of unrecyclable synthetics.

just remembered Space Force is a real thing

It’s July, which means Costco is full of buff werewolves running free

you never have to explain what makes you a weird little goblin but it's gonna cheer someone up if you do

Jodie Comer's Chicago accent in The Bikeriders is WILD and A CHOICE

and today my hospital told Chris that I can't operate machinery or make big life or financial decisions until tomorrow like can you imagine the nurses wheeling me out to the portico and me just hopping out of the wheelchair to start pedaling and farting on a ten speed while giggling like a loon

always thinking about this Ask MetaFilter answer about colonoscopy experiences when mine is due

we have wildly different bedtimes and do this and it's great

Specialists say there are benefits to couples sleeping separatelyapnews.com Couples who sleep in separate rooms see no lack of intimacy, only quality sleep. Specialists agree there are benefits to sleeping apart.

I lived bitch

me telling the nurses about my arduous night and getting eyerolls in return

Another tornado warning. Busy night.

Warning is over but what a ride

also I am in the middle of a colon prep 🥹

Full blown tornado warning tornado 🌪️

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Keli

When air conditioning units were stylish. The Northwind portable air conditioner by Emerson-Electric (1958) #heatwave