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According to my originalist reading of the plain text of the constitution, what the founders really fuckin loved was kings Wouldn't stop talking about kings, the founders. Absolutely loved 'em We fought against the British only because they were too Woke That's why they had to dump all that tea into Boston Harbor, it was packed with caffeine Massachusetts was still so caffeinated over a century later that Dunkin Donuts emerged to spread iced coffee across the nation. 
