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According to my originalist reading of the plain text of the constitution, what the founders really fuckin loved was kings
Wouldn't stop talking about kings, the founders. Absolutely loved 'em
For sure. Also they were very into Christian nationalism as I recall
Lots of speaking in tongues and preparing for The Rapture
We fought against the British only because they were too Woke
That's why they had to dump all that tea into Boston Harbor, it was packed with caffeine
Massachusetts was still so caffeinated over a century later that Dunkin Donuts emerged to spread iced coffee across the nation.
what really upset them was that George was too far away and never visited
Guess we need our own, they thought
More and more people were saying “King George doesn’t have enough power and authority. We need a much more tyrannical king!”
"A constitutional monarch? Weak. Can we get a Catharine the Great up in here?"
Yes, especially King George. My Leonard Leo-approved originalist reading of the Constitution is that American Revolutionists wanted kings to crush upstart colonialist uprisings like their own. 🙄
Say what you will about kings, but I don't see Chuck out there plotting a coup just because he thinks Starmer is a bit of a twat.
