The Midnight Society: Nabokov: you all can't understand this! this is REAL literature JK Rowling: exactly Nabokov: see? she gets it Rowling: a beautifully tragic love ssstory Nabokov: yes a bea Nabokov: Nabokov: what

King: gosh joanne sure has been trending a while on twitter King: like, for almost a week straight Poe: oo Poe: er Poe: that's King: yeah that's not good Poe: that's very bad Poe: i don't think it's healthy Poe: it does things to you

Vladimir Nabokov: ok i got a story Nabokov: but i'm only gonna tell it if you all promise not to be mad at me Poe: we promise Nabokov: you promise? Nabokov: you all have to say it Poe: we all promise King: sure we promise Barker: promise Nabokov: swear it

Vladimir Nabokov: ok this is the story of the guy who raised his own child bride Piers Anthony: why would you say something so controversial and yet so brave

King: wow jeez um Nabokov: but before you all get mad at me Nabokov: keep in mind that the narrator is unreliable King: i dunno this really seems kinda... Nabokov: unreliable, goddamnit! unreliable!

King: wow this story seems pretty out there King: and you endorse this kind of thing? Nabokov: unreliable, dammit! i said unreliable! King: cuz i don't think we can approve of this Nabokov: oh my GOD

Nabokov: you had a baby clown gangbang King: WHOA now you're taking that scene WAY out of context vladimir and you know it

Nabokov: you all can't understand this! this is REAL literature JK Rowling: exactly Nabokov: see? she gets it Rowling: a beautifully tragic love ssstory Nabokov: yes a bea Nabokov: Nabokov: what

Rowling: yeah i thought it was a wonderful love ssstory King: Poe: Koontz: Lovecraft: Barker: Rowling: why are you looking at me like that? Rowling: iss it becausse you hate women?

Rowling: i know i know, you're all thinking Rowling: a romance between a middle aged man and a child?? Rowling: but don't worry! Rowling: they're both their assssigned at birth genderss Rowling: sso it'ss all ok

Rowling: humbert humbert ssufferss greatly in the purssuit of romance sso when lolita sstartss looking elssewhere for attention, humbert will carry her off on a desperate cross-country misadventure all in the name of love Rowling: in National Lampoon's Cross State Line Vacation

VC Andrews: i don't think that's much of a romance Rowling: oh yeah??? well what would YOU know? Andrews: funny you should ask Andrews: i do have some ideas about that

VC Andrews: [singing] i have a secret recipe Andrews: concocted with much skill Andrews: and once you've tried my special dish Andrews: you'll Andrews: never Andrews: get Andrews: your Andrews: filllll Andrews: TAKEEEEEE Andrews: ten terrific blood relatives...

Rowling: tell them, vladmir, it's a romance right? Nabokov: no it's about how i heard these scientists taught an ape to draw Rowling: Rowling: Rowling:

How do you double-like this one? (Asking for a friend, who is me, who cackled out loud)

King: (whispering to Poe) should we start... you know... Poe: (whispering to King) start slinking away before we get dragged deeper into this cesspool? King: (whispering) yeah Poe: (whispering) agreed Barker: WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING? Barker: THIS IS HILARIOUS

Don’t even TRY to come after VC Andrews, JKR. Shes TEN Times the hack (pos) you’ll EVER be!!!!

Takeee?

it got worse. how did it get worse?

WELP

Sting: Don't stand so close to me.

Wait she said what now (Googling) She said it _when_ now

Wait did she really fuckin say that 🤦

in the year 2000.

A lot of her dumbassery and bad opinions slipped under the radar then.

to be fair, I was 9 at the time, as were a lot of us.

I was a grown ass adult but I was used to fannish spaces for stuff like the Xenaverse where we mostly thought TPTB were dipshits. So JKR being a dumbass didn't mean much to me in '00.

Wait, WHAT?!

She WHAT. Poor Nabokov. This was exactly what he feared would happen with his story. Okay maybe not quite the fear of JKR putting character names into her story (seriously‽) but still. For someone so obsessed with "dangerous predatory men" and "lost little girls" she sure doesn't grok Lolita.

Post