Mrs Schwarzski: There are lots of great reasons to have dogs, & 1 of those reasons is that they make you feel like Sir Isaac fuckin’ Newton “Boss, BOSS! The ball, it slid beneath the Fortress of Woe and shall never be retrieved!” *I scoot the ball out from under the coffee table* “VICTORY FOR THE BOSS LADY!!!”

There are lots of great reasons to have dogs, & 1 of those reasons is that they make you feel like Sir Isaac fuckin’ Newton “Boss, BOSS! The ball, it slid beneath the Fortress of Woe and shall never be retrieved!” *I scoot the ball out from under the coffee table* “VICTORY FOR THE BOSS LADY!!!”

Dogs were just looking under there and wailing like we were at an Italian funeral and like…they can fit under there…

Keeping Fluffy and Babka in awe of you.

That one time i built a flat-packed lamp in front of her cemented my place in her psyche as a god.

“I worship her and her opposable thumbs!”

She barked at the new lamp for like 20min. She’s a very good girl but I think she assumes I am magic.

Oddly, my dog thinks I’m a complete idiot. Not afraid of an airborne plastic bag? Run, you fool!

I assume we are like the genius party member that would easily die to a kobold if left to our own devices. Fluffy had to save me from a discarded pillow once.

Good thing dogs don’t get relativistic.

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