Alexandra Petri: Gift link! Thanks for being a Supreme Court Patreon! Don’t forget to claim your perks! wapo.st/3GW9Eyp

Gift link! Thanks for being a Supreme Court Patreon! Don’t forget to claim your perks! wapo.st/3GW9Eyp

Opinion | Thanks for being a Supreme Court Patreon! Don’t forget to claim your perks.wapo.st There are just nine of these jobs, paying in the low six figures. That’s why we’re grateful for Patreon subscribers. Your support keeps our supermajority super!

“A bribe would be if the justice said, ‘Thank you for this money, which has influenced my decision-making.’” I am loving* learning how narrowly the law defines things like bribes and threats when the side claiming they aren’t has LOTS of money 💰 to sue for eternity. It’s so fun*!

Do I need to declare this gift link in my financial report? Why am I even asking, of course I won't!

Darn almost have enough to get Ginni Thomas to stop texting me!

$8,675,309 gets you Ginni's private number

Awesome. And while it’s funny AF, I’m also crying on the inside.

Perfect: """$15,000 per month | “Law ’n Order” * Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. will ride on a private plane with you if the plane is already taking off and would have been going that direction anyway NOTE: Don’t expect any special treatment! He is just there to be ballast for the plane. """

So. Good.

This is brilliant! And also I now need to know who will step up* and start creating gerrymandered district stuffies. *I don’t have the skilz

Although I have already guffawed so hard that my ribs hurt reading this piece, I am going to do it again. It takes such bravery to be an American.

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