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The Hospital

@redpinehospital.bsky.social

Patients will be seen in order of severity

Redpine is a horror comedy and as such deals with gore, phobias, and upsetting situations. Only follow if you're okay with that
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Dr Karen McCracken ended up in Redpine after she put her fist through an insurance agents head after telling her she needed prior authorization for a life saving treatment.
Reposted byAvatar The Hospital
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CDC says we’re beyond Thunderdome
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Have you or someone you know contracted Cyanitca? Know the symptoms Turning blue Shortness of breath A longing to walk into the sea and let it reclaim you Hot Flashes Memories flooding in from "The Before" Teeth Stuff Stomach Cramps
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I tried to deny the delivery of thirty sopping wet boxes today. The driver just dumped them in the waiting room and burst into beetles.
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The Surgical teams are requesting. Ray should be allowed to carve out the cowardice and weakness in the hearts and souls of man regardless of whether or not they are just in here for an Appendectomy More powerful "soaps" for the scrub techs More crosswords for the anesthesiologist
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It's collective bargaining time once again at the Hospital. The radiologist are requesting The light walkers to be barred from entry to the "Kingdom of the dark" *the read room Lead *we think they eat that* Rarerer more forbidden magnets Acknowledgment of the Dark One of which we give our praise
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Staff we can't believe we have to remind you of this but do not attempt to open the large vault on the 9th floor regardless of the voices telling you that "The Rot Must Spread" and "Free us" Not sure why you would need this kind of warning. Seems pretty obvious you shouldn't open it.
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This is a message from the CDC: I have escaped the wellness tower and I'm coming to inspect your privacy fence with my bulldozer, Howard.
Reposted byAvatar The Hospital
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The hypnotist has been arrested.
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Inside of you there are two wolves....and you need surgery immediately
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Here are some Bradley facts. Once his body is destroyed a new Bradley coalescence within the walls of the hospital. Throwing garbage on the floor will cause him to go into a blind shrieking rage. He will begin to fist fight orderlys until his bloodlust is sated
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Bradley our maintenance homunculus was sucked into a jet engine last night. So we'll be sending a get well soon card around for you all to sign
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There is no Thought Obelisk. The shrines we erected to it were our own choice, and not at all a command from the Thought Obelisk, which of course does not exist.
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YOU THINK APPLES WILL KEEP ME AWAY!? I AM THE CIDER KING! -Dr Ray Blanche chief of surgery at Redpine General Hospital
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Good morning staff and patients! If you happen to have noticed the sky opening and swallowing our little town and spitting us out elsewhere last night, no you didn't.
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