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the gaiman allegations are pretty unsurprising to me, and their specific details dovetail neatly with the vibe he's given off for decades. his fanbase is devoted in a very particular way, and his kindly solicitousness has always made them feel a part of his world--a situation ripe for abuse.
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I dunno. I enjoyed his writing and I never picked anything up. But I'm far from a diehard fan.
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it's his public persona that's the problem, although i'd say that it has somewhat infused his writing as of late, which is why it's become progressively less appealing to me.
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I haven't read his later writing. But what you're describing sounds a lot like late Heinlein where you're like: Ewwww.
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I don't think there's anything in Gaiman's writing that's a clear red flag for being a predator, but to me his style got lazier and more self-important as he settled into his role as god-emperor of the fantasy goths. an uncritical following that he accepted happily.