The number of people willing to argue with people who have food allergies/sensitivities about their own fucking bodies never ceases to amaze me.
This is how we end up with in-laws who add mushroom powder to the mashed potatoes.
Every now and then I'm reminded just how much I miss instant ramen.
My mom wasn't really into cooking so when I was a teen staying at her house for the summer I ate a lot of instant ramen, frozen pot pies and fish sticks.
There's a comfort in those noodles that I miss.
I have seen so many posts this month of "X/Y/Z performer cancels concert due to illness/infection etc" and... are we just afraid of saying COVID now?
Because that's what this is, right? It's COVID.
Big migraine pain. Not sure if it's from the stress of yesterday, or being out in the heat then, or from today's crushing barometric pressure, or what I ate for dinner.
It's around a 13 on a 10 point pain scale (the scale no longer fits my life lol).
My high school bestie moved into her own place today with her two kiddos.
She expected nothing in the divorce from her cheating, abusive ex. Instead she's getting custody, alimony, child support and half of everything, including the house.
So so proud of her for leaving.
My high school bestie moved into her own place today with her two kiddos.
She expected nothing in the divorce from her cheating, abusive ex. Instead she's getting custody, alimony, child support and half of everything, including the house.
So so proud of her for leaving.
Not quite done but this appointment has gone so much better than expected.
The doctor wants to stop me from being passed along between specialists, and wants to plan treatment around my needs, wants and goals.
Scared to hope, still too early to know for sure.
But maybe this will work.
Not quite done but this appointment has gone so much better than expected.
The doctor wants to stop me from being passed along between specialists, and wants to plan treatment around my needs, wants and goals.
Scared to hope, still too early to know for sure.
But maybe this will work.
Sometimes brainfog creeps in and the next thing I know I'm deep in convo and grasping at threads of it, dragging words out from my brain kicking and screaming.
Really just like part of my brain shuts down. (Actually gets a little quieter in there, too, which is unnerving in and of itself.)
I stared at my empty pill organizer this morning and decided that today was not the day. I will continue to regret this and do nothing about it all week.
Yes, Heracles. I too know what it is to be tasked with something mighty by the gods. For I have completed the hellish trial of filling my pill organizer for the week feeling like shit the whole time.
Anyway, wish me luck. The testing today is about 4 hours long and requires my participation (not like blood draws/MRIs etc). Hoping to treat myself and Sora to some Pho or Bibimbap after - comfort foods.
I just need to get through today.
If this illness is progressive (I think it is) I risk so much by stepping back.
But I can't make it around that corner. Like a mirage, it keeps moving, just enough to be out of reach.
I thought this was a fight I could win; but I'm so tired of fighting. I don't want to die fighting.
If this illness is progressive (I think it is) I risk so much by stepping back.
But I can't make it around that corner. Like a mirage, it keeps moving, just enough to be out of reach.
I thought this was a fight I could win; but I'm so tired of fighting. I don't want to die fighting.
I've spent the last 16 years fighting for healthcare in various ways. I'm so tired of making myself smaller and pretending to know less than I do just so doctor will want to help me.
I know by letting go now I take a huge risk. What if diagnosis and treatment are right around the corner?
I've spent the last 16 years fighting for healthcare in various ways. I'm so tired of making myself smaller and pretending to know less than I do just so doctor will want to help me.
I know by letting go now I take a huge risk. What if diagnosis and treatment are right around the corner?
5 1/2 hours I have a specialist appointment that pretty much decides my life going forward. I won't have the results right away, but it's the last shot I'm taking at figuring out what's wrong with my body.
I don't want to go. I'm so tired and just want to be done; but I need to do this last thing.
5 1/2 hours I have a specialist appointment that pretty much decides my life going forward. I won't have the results right away, but it's the last shot I'm taking at figuring out what's wrong with my body.
I don't want to go. I'm so tired and just want to be done; but I need to do this last thing.
My ability to sleep is breaking down which means my neuro symptoms are really intense. Muscle spasm, tremors, shaking.
Thinking back to my last neuro appointment where it was heavily implied that I just need a better therapist and that this is just PTSD.
It's not. It's very much not.
It's okay to love the books that were formative to your life even if the authors turn out to be awful people. It's also good to be able to look back on those books with new information and realize that maybe some things about them weren't good.
All of this is growth - how we become better people.
I'd like to get to a place where I can talk about these things, about life with ADHD and PTSD and OCD and how they make managing my phys health more complicated.
I don't hide these things, but I'd like to be more open, because these are discussions that are good to have.
I don't talk about my mental health as often as I talk about my physical health because there's so much trauma involved, and it's taken me a long time to discern what is okay for normal sharing and what really isn't. (I used to overshare and trauma dump a lot. A LOT. Until about 10 years ago.)
I don't talk about my mental health as often as I talk about my physical health because there's so much trauma involved, and it's taken me a long time to discern what is okay for normal sharing and what really isn't. (I used to overshare and trauma dump a lot. A LOT. Until about 10 years ago.)
I was awake for nearly 24 hours and slept 3 1/2 before the barking woke me.
Been laying here for an hour trying to find the strength to get up and see if I can function at all.
I will never understand people who live in tiny apartments, get multiple dogs, and then just let them bark for hours.
The people are home, they just don't care, and the dogs get no attention outside being occasionally yelled at.
Why get a dog at all?
"I can be demanding and impatient and tough. I am a strong woman. I am many things, but I am not mean.” (Ellen DeGeneres)
Hmmm... sounds like something a mean person would say. (Me)
