Riley Fox

@rileyfox.bsky.social

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Writer. Former comic. Prog & metal nerd. Currently residing in tropical Denver, Colorado. Immortal for a limited time. ♾️

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Here’s my hometown news station breaking the news of Biden getting Covid using a hell of a choice for a photo.

What’s your most useless talent? Mine is that I can do a pretty decent impression of Ted Koppel.

Some of these are 100% only for me and that’s fine.

It’s too bad JNCO jeans never appealed to the jazz crowd, because you could have hooked ‘em by describing them as having “pockets as deep as a Steve Gadd groove.”

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Riley Fox

also and I feel like I buried the lede here: it calls for the people who CREATE queer media to be imprisoned. That'd be people like me. Or any other queer creator you love. Any queen who's been on drag race. Chappel Roan. Janelle Monae. Anyone who's made a piece of queer media. Imprisoned.

Psst: Project 2025 is terrifying for a lot of reasons but also because on page 5 it calls for teachers and librarians who grant access to books that are maligned as pornography (which just means anything LGBTQ) to be registered as sex offenders. Pass it on.

An easy shorthand for understanding the proposals in Project 2025 is to simply ask yourself this question: “what would my stance be on this issue if I’d been kicked in the head by a horse seven hundred times?” Whatever your answer is, it’s probably close enough to what’s actually in there.

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Riley Fox

if you’re trying to engage with politically disconnected people about project 2025, identify a specific part that you think will resonate with them. i just told my friend who’s a public school teacher about the plan to abolish the department of education and that got her hooked.

Tenacious D breaking up can mean only one thing: Satan won the rock-off after all.

I don’t even like the song to begin with, but I just heard twelve seconds of that national anthem performance at the Home Run Derby and had to go stand in another room and look at the wall for a minute.

I forgot to mention this but in the moments before the Trump shooting I was talking music with a crustpunk at a metal bar and I was *this close* to getting him to admit that Rush was a good band before we all got, uh, distracted.

Most people don’t know that his first name is abbreviated because his full government name is actually Jance Dance Vance.

Formally submitting “Last Saga” by Ruby the Hatchet to the Guitar Riff Hall of Fame.

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Riley Fox

Hillbilly Elegy sounds like a lost episode of Cowboy Bebop

He’s also a reprehensible piece of shit with dangerous autocratic views, but one truly cannot overlook his tendency to look like the kind of weird little freak boy who eats mayonnaise straight from the jar.

JD Vance is a shrewd VP pick designed to appeal to the growing voter bloc of Mayonnaise Boys.

Finished SEARCH PARTY tonight. Goes a little off the rails towards the end but still a fun watch overall. Alia Shawkat is tremendous. If you only know her from ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, you are in for a treat.

A few years late to it but recently started watching SEARCH PARTY and it is very funny.

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in 2013 I saw a man get a 100,000 hour probation on the SomethingAwful forums and today I saw him come off probation and immediately pick up the same argument, quoting a reply from 2013, absolute next-level hater, I can't even imagine, my man is the Count of Monte Posters

Fighting games are funny because even when a character gets blown up by a stage hazard in such a way that no human could possibly survive, the game is still like “oh they’ve just been knocked unconscious!”

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Riley Fox

you see your pets twitching their little limbs in their sleep and say to your partner "look, it is running through a field in its sleep", you are wrong: your pet is in a casino: throwing dice, playing slots and video poker, walking on two legs and betting large on a blackjack table