Anthony

@s404064.bsky.social

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Husband, engineer, car guy, dog/plant/fish dad, slut

Same handle on the [former] bird app

📍 Chicago

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Anthony

My cousin has been visiting and she's the type who loves to start unsolicited troubleshooting for problems that I don't have. "I moved your saucers on top of your plates and it freed up a bunch of space in the cabinet" "Um ok... I have nothing else that I need to put in that new space."

I poured all the alcohol into a shaker to make a cosmo and I thought to myself, "I definitely saw cranberry juice in the fridge...right?" I don't have to tell you what happened next

It is clear that I am from St. Louis

When I moved to Texas as a teenager, I was adamant that I had no accent at all. And yet...

Who the fuck scheduled a meeting at 3:30pm on a Friday?

I love talking about politics with coworkers and needing to be professionally neutral. I was meeting with my French counterpart and mentioned the election. She was clearly satisfied with the results, but only said "yes, it was a surprise. I hope for surprises with your upcoming election"

If I were in politics in any of these states, I would have the nastiest commercial airing on repeat to remind everyone that these people want to watch you struggle to feed your family simply because they hate you

The governors of a dozen Republican-led states — AL, AK, FL, GA, IA, MS, OK, SC, SD, TX, UT, WY — opted out of a new federal food assistance program, leaving about 9.5 million students without the aid this summer

Republican-led states are blocking summer food benefits for hungry familieswww.usatoday.com Money for food is especially tight for families in a dozen states where Republican lawmakers declined to accept federal food assistance.

I've been flirting with the bouncer at Atmosphere for months and the long-game has eventually progressed to me getting a hug and kiss on the cheek regularly. By next year, maybe we'll exchange first names

I hosted brunch at my place before walking to Pride parade. Of all the people who came (all within a 3ish mile radius), one person decided to drive and called me when he couldn't find any parking. Baby, why do you think you could park 2 blocks from one of the biggest annual events in the country?

Tiddies sitting before a workout

There's nothing more humbling than sending a message on The Apps™ and getting immediately blocked. Like, damn, just ignoring me would suffice 😂

Oh yea, I was on a boat

Which way western man

My husband is the type of person who has to absolutely love or hate everything. There are so many restaurants and other things that he refuses to try because I didn't describe my experience positively enough and he interprets that as being bad lol

It feels like people have forgotten how to just mildly enjoy something. Like, an episode of a tv series can be fine. Not every bit has to be life changing.

One of the proposals at my job is to use AI to detect the mood of someone while they're driving. The car could then automatically turn on the seat massager, play relaxing music, and activate aromatherapy. Are these people humans? Do they know any humans? That would literally piss me off more

Absolutely deranged shit. Complete techbro inability to understand or empathise with humans.

I was bullshitting throughout the day and now here I am, doing work at 11pm because I have to present it in 7 hours

I don't even know what to do with my day off on Juneteenth. Spending the day at the beach feels like a good idea

The first thing I see when I open my eyes every morning

Me: I'm a big guy *gets followed by accounts with names like big_guy_lover* Me:

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Anthony

I think it’s time some of you start charging rent in your head

I was leaving a hotel after ******** oomfs and some random guy in the lobby yelled "goddamn, save some muscles for the rest of us. that's a big mf" That was the sweetest thing I've heard in a while 🥰

A broken clock

A new law in Florida will place unprecedented new curbs on the power of homeowners’ associations — and other states may follow “These associations tend to be full of Karens who don’t just want to speak to the manager, they want to be the manager”

Curbing the Karens: Florida reins in over-mighty homeowners’ groupswww.theguardian.com The state’s homeowners’ associations (HOAs) are notorious for petty bureaucracy – including threats of eviction for the wrong kind of dog or decorative garage door hinges

I was just talking about this from the perspective of an automobile company. Sometimes we actually lose money in these countries because it's extremely expensive to reconfigure and recalibrate vehicles, and these places have almost irrelevant sales on a global scale. But we can't just ignore them

The left-hand and right-hand traffic country map is very funny

I wanted to share this with a photo of me in the floral harness, but I realized that I've never taken a photo in it. Now I have homework

I know $15 for international shipping is quite expensive (fuck Brexit) but whilst we work on a better option… 🌍📬 For 48 hours all international shipping (including US) is free for my bluesky pals 📬🌍 Use code BLUESKY at checkout 💕💕 thank you so much 🥹🥹

Reskeet with a hobby that helps your mental health 🐠🌱🐟

Reskeet with a hobby that helps your mental health 🚲🚴‍♀️🚲

It was a rainy night, so luckily I wore a shirt that provided coverage

I'm jealous that NYC starts out Pride month with it being warm and sunny, but Chicago has rain all day

Well, yes. I think other wealthy people should absolutely fear a similar fate since they're all so comfortable committing financial crimes

I cannot stress enough that as a financial professional handing off facially fraudulent records to banks and taxing authorities is not a trivial matter

A guy asked about my plans tonight and I said "nothing is particular, just hanging around at home". He invited me to hook up and I said we can after my cough goes away. He said "oh ok, you just said you were free"... I'm so glad I'm already married because I don't know how y'all date these people

I feel like there has to be somebody out there setting up an event on Sniffies to take 34 loads tonight