Simon Watkins

@simonywaking.bsky.social

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Journalist. Interests - finance economics, politics, philosophy, literature, childish humour. Refugee from the other place, trying to build a new life.

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I have just been listening to Derek and Clive for the first time in years. They are prescient. The sketch ‘I saw a bloke’ is just like a conversation on Twitter.

A Labour victory is absolutely what I wanted in this election. However, these extraordinary results are going to do serious damage to public confidence in our system of democracy. And I greatly fear where that disaffection will be channeled.

ROFL

Some back of an envelope calculations looking at vote share and turnout. 2019 catastrophic Labour loss of seats. 2024 landslide Labour victory. But on my rough calculations it looks like the number of people who voted Labour in 2024 is almost unchanged. It may even be fractionally lower.

Yeesss!!!

Comparing Uxbridge in 2019 (Boris Johnson) and Richmond in 2024 (Sunak), it looks like a significant swing in the satirical vote from to Count Binface Party from Monster Raving Loonies.

Just woke up. Looking at these figures I am not entirely comforted. Tory and Reform combined vote 38%. Labour share lower than 2017. This is not a strong swing left by the electorate.

BBC election coverage is insanely breathless and manic. I have turned to Sky to see the difference and it just seems so much calmer and more grown up.

BBC on the telly. Sky on the iPad. Social media on the phone. Tory loss bingo chart ready. Wine in fridge. Snacks to hand.

Exam question: “The Supreme Court has ruled that the President is legally allowed to kill anyone as part of his official role. This proves that the right of private citizens to bear arms as a defence against tyranny is still relevant and valid.” Discuss.

This is how it happens. Slowly; step by step; inch by inch.

BREAKING NEWS: The decision likely ensures that the case against Trump won’t be tried before the election, and then only if he is not reelected.

Supreme Court says Trump has absolute immunity for official acts onlywww.npr.org The decision likely ensures that the case against Trump won’t be tried before the election, and then only if he is not reelected.

Graffiti on rubbish bin seen in Nimes last week.

Aporia is an impossibility.

I used to think it was impossible to give a proper response to political issues on social media, because the character limits were too restrictive. Having watched Sunak this evening, I realise that in fact I can say everything I want to in just four letters.

“I am playing and you are not taking it seriously enough!”

A reminder that the best way to establish that you are who you say you are when you join BlueSky is to post a unique picture of your cat. #proofOfCat is the most valid form of ID

Staying in cheap roadside hotel in south France. There is a community of semi-feral cats living nearby. When there are no people about, they hang around the pool. The proprietor is very relaxed about it. And I strongly approve.

Driving a rental again. It’s got some kind of steering correction. Steering wheel nudges/tugs when it thinks I am leaving my lane. I am driving in rural France. Narrow roads. Plane trees to the right. Oncoming lorry on the left. Wheel twitches. “Yes I know it’s all a bit close! Fuck off!”

Diane Abbott was subjected to derision (and worse) from the right for years. In the last day some conservative commentators have decided she is a political icon who has been treated appallingly by a duplicitous Starmer. The bullshit builds up so fast in a general election it’s hard to stay above it.

As we approach the longest days of the year, I think it is healthy, both spiritually and physically to adjust to the rhythms of nature. I awoke to daylight at 4am and decided to rise and embrace the day. And now I have been up for six hours, it is naturally beer o’clock.

If this national service thing actually happened (which of course it won’t) then the easiest way for young people to sabotage it would be for every single 18 year old to opt (nay, to demand they be given) a year’s military service. Current UK standing army: 100,000. Number of 18 years olds: 720,000.

Theory… Sunak has always known he is going to lose and he just wants out. Secretly he hoped his party would kick him out after the local elections and spare him a humiliating and exhausting GE campaign. They didn’t. So he has decided to get it over with.

I am just installing a new HP printer. Please pray for me.

Spouse and I are both crap at remembering our wedding anniversary. Two days ago, I did the flowers, etc. She did nothing. She was deeply apologetic. On checking, it turns out our anniversary is tomorrow. Now arguing (in a jovial way) about which one of us is more wrong. I count this as a success.

NHS invited me for bowel cancer screening. So this morning I will be shitposting.

I have made the mistake of watching The Gentlemen. I am hoping that soon some geezers will come round my gaff and shoot me in the fucking head.

Shepherds pie for supper with Easter leftovers. (As usual I roasted far too many shepherds on Sunday.)

Oh fuck. Please tell me the cat is asleep on the sofa!

One of the best things about lockdown being a thing of the past is that I can go for a walk in the local woods Ona Saturday morning and it’s not full of people taking their permitted hour-long walk.

Late evening. I need visual pabulum. Give me The Omen (original of course). Only place to get it? Disney+. M.I.C.K.E.Y Satan’s coming for you.