i don’t think “it’s so easy to find the clit” jokes are funny.
i recognize that in most cases the clit is findable without much effort, don’t get me wrong.
i just know that that sort of shame around anatomical/sexual knowledge deficiencies prevents folks who may have genuine questions from asking.
hi my name is Sinéad and i didn’t know that i didn’t have a clit until a quarter of a century into my life because i didn’t know how to ask these sorts of questions about my own body.
i recognize that im definitely an outlier on the genitalia front, but just because the body someone lives in is uncommon doesn’t mean the possibility of genitalia which deviates from the norm should be dismissed from all conversations as “usually irrelevant”. like c’mon please.
if we wanna shame cishet man for being bad at sex, can we talk about lack of effort instead? shaming over lack of knowledge is just shitty.
lemme tell you these guys have not internalized “just find the clit” as anything other than a checkbox to prove they are good at sex. that’s not progress.
yeah it’s not just cishet men who lack this kind of anatomical/sexual knowledge and we really gotta let and even encourage people to ask questions without shame.
yeah! i mean whenever i bring up that i don’t like this sort of joke, i get responses like “it’s usually right there, and cishet men can’t be let off the hook for not even trying to find it”
but like make the jokes about the effort then not “it’s right there just find it”!
and like as i mentioned in thread, assumptions about what genitalia “should” look like and standardization of approach to sex (“just find the clit” also means some dudes *only* focus on that) means if someone doesn’t have “standard” genitals there’s inherent othering and shame there.
which, i don’t know for sure if i’m intersex or not.
i’m not gonna claim to speak for intersex people here.
but i know from talking to and reading writing from more than a few intersex folks that homogenization of what genitals “should look like” is a problem.
there are probably a loooot of cishet men who’ve been going off what they’ve seen in bad porn videos since they were teenagers and have never been corrected. communication is important.
communication is absolutely important and tons of cishet men are bad at sex for that and other reasons, but that’s the thing is this just shuts down communication, it doesn’t teach them anything, including how to ask questions about sex without shame.
Mine was basically nonexistent before HRT, & the other clit-havers I was with were just as "bad at finding it" as everyone else! People do not appreciate genital diversity!!
I hate those "jokes" as much as I do dick size shaming. Saw someone on here recently say they hated when ppl with <7" dicks send dick pics because they've "seen it all before" and like ?? I don't understand allosexuals. I love getting to know a specific body :S
yeah! like even setting aside cases like mine, there are SO many folks with very small or hidden clits, and this stuff hurts SO MANY folks who aren’t just those asshole cis dudes who refuse to make effort.
